Love at the Foot of the Cross

I said a while back that I would talk more about love. So here it is.

The perfect definition of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13, and it goes like this:

“Love is patient,

Love is kind.

It does not envy,

It does not boast,

It is not proud.

It does not dishonor others,

It is not self-seeking,

It is not easily angered,

It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil

But rejoices with the truth.

It always protects,

Always trusts,

Always hopes,

Always perseveres.

Love never fails.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Wow. What a list. Sometimes I think to myself, “How many of these characteristics of love do I exhibit to others? How do I measure up on the Jesus scale?”

I know that I am much more patient than I was in my younger years. But I still have a long ways to go. Besides, have you ever noticed that sometimes you are more patient with friends and acquaintances than you are with your own family members? I know I am. Patience has never been my strong suit, and my patience gets tested quite often and I fail more often than not with my  husband, especially now that we live in extremely close quarters. (We live in a 32 foot motorhome with our two dogs, Tinker Belle the Pug and Gracie the standard poodle puppy.)

I try to be as kind as possible, in my dealings with others. However, this, too, can be a struggling point when my mouth speaks before my brain thinks it through--especially when I am tired or in pain. I have to keep telling myself that unkind words will not help the situation, neither will my habit of “needing” to have the last word on a subject. The Holy Spirit has been working on me lately concerning fewer words being better.

“Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.”

Ecclesiastes 5:2

(Personal addendum, based on Psalm 139: Everything is uttered before God because he hears all and knows all, even before we speak it or do it.)

Envy. I have mostly conquered envy, but there are still times when I get jealous or covet something someone else owns.

And, yes, I do catch myself boasting from time to time, but I rationalize it, thinking that it might benefit so-and-so if they heard about my personal victory. It is not necessarily bad to tell about our victories, so long as we give the glory to God, because if He did not equip us and provide for us, we would not have the victories to boast about. Our victories come through His blessings.

“But, ‘Let the one who boasts boast in The Lord.’ for it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom The Lord commends.”

2 Corinthians 10:17-18

What exactly is pride? When I typed “define pride” into the Bing search engine, the second definition that it showed was “proper sense of own value.”

 Wow. So, according to the world (as pointed out by the above), we are supposed to be prideful? I understand that we should feel good about ourselves and that we need to have a sense of personal respect, but seriously? Pride is the proper sense of our own value? I think not, and I base my belief on the teachings of Jesus. Humility is what our personal value needs to be based on. Jesus washed people’s feet. He did not let His status as the king, as God incarnate, interfere with what He came to this earth to accomplish. To be a servant is more important than any other thing we might have to be prideful about. John 13 states it best.

“Jesus knew that The Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.”

John 13:3-5

Today’s world is so full of pride and arrogance, that the world tends to disparage those who do not conform to the worldly ways of “me-me-me” and winning no matter the cost, calling us “nonconformists” weak and stupid. The world idolizes movie stars and professional sports figures. No wonder they are so arrogant, being held to that level by their fans.

Alas, even with my disdain for pride, I occasionally fall prey to its evil draw. I am only human, after all.

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be lowly in spirit along with the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.”

Proverbs 16:18-19

How am I doing so far? It doesn’t look too promising for me to ever achieve God’s definition of love; however, God knows this about all of us humans.

My point in showing how I fail at some of these love traits is not to disparage myself. I show my faults to demonstrate that having faults in these areas is nothing to beat yourself up about. So long as we are working faithfully on our weaknesses, God will be pleased with us. God knows we are human and that as humans, we have a tendency to be self-centered and that we have a sinful nature.

God delights in us when we take our faults and our failures to Him. When we take our pride and our ego and we place them at the foot of the cross, He will help us bear our burdens and wipe away our shame.

He loves us that much.

My final words on love comes again from 1 Corinthians 13:

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

1 Corinthians 13:13

My prayer for you today is that you would know love in your life, the deep, abiding love only found in relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

In His grace,

Jennifer Joy

Guilt Complex, Gone

I should recognize by now that if I start having troubled sleep, if I start to falter in my Walk, if depression begins to come upon me, then God is once again working his magic in my soul. For my soul upheavals are not without reward.

And, oh, how sweet the rewards when God troubles my soul.

For several weeks, I tossed and turned, having bad dreams about false accusations. These dreams tormented not only my sleep, but also my waking hours, because I did not know why I kept having this recurrent theme. No one has troubled me with lies and false blame in almost a year now.

In my past, I have suffered many false accusations. I won’t go into too much detail, but a person very dear to me had the habit of throwing me under the bus when she was caught in a lie. We were very close (or so I wished), but no matter how desperately I wanted to share  my most intimate secrets with her, I simply could not trust her. I could not trust that she would keep my secrets, and I could not trust that she would not twist my truth into something grotesque and punishing.

From all her lies and from others believing her lies, I have suffered horribly from a guilt complex since childhood.

On top of that, I also have suffered from Lyme disease since childhood. No one believed I was sick. No one believed I was almost always in severe pain. I was accused of being a hypochondriac, once again spurred on by the lies spread by my dearest loved one.

Adding insult to injury, Lyme is a very real disease caught in the ugly political-ness of the CDC and insurance red tape. The CDC is influenced by insurance lobbyists, with their single goal being to save themselves money, even at the expense of the American public. This is a whole ball of wax I don’t wish to get into, for its negativity, but if you are interested in learning more, I would suggest checking out the video, “Under Our Skin.” As a result of the insurance industry’s political agenda, I and other Lyme sufferers have been accused of lying and of being hypochondriacs. I have had a whole slew of medical professionals deny my pain and my illness, for years.

There are plenty of other people and issues I could add to this list of false accusations, but I won’t. I’m not saying that I have never been guilty of things. I am not perfect. Far from it. I have sinned plenty, but the guilt complex came about because of unwarranted lies and accusations.

It is a myth that if we have a guilty conscience, then we must be guilty.

The truth is often that we have suffered blame at the hands of others once too often.

In my final dream on the subject, I found myself standing before a long line of my accusers. Some I recognized, of course, but some I did not, because they belonged to the CDC and insurance industry, and also among them were medical professionals I did not immediately recognize. Fear and terror seized my heart as I stood alone in front of them. Then all of a sudden, Jesus was beside me. I did not have to look to my right to know He was there. His presence and His voice were unmistakable.

He said, “Tell the first one to step forward.”

I reluctantly motioned for her to come.

Jesus said, “Ask her to say what she came to say.”

I reluctantly asked, as tears threatened to escape.

She said her lies, cast her blame.

Then Jesus said, “Now, tell her she is lying, tell her that you forgive her, and then send her on her way.”

I did as He asked. My heart felt a tiny bit better.

She went to the end of the line, so that she could once again come forward with more lies and blame when her turn came again.

We went through several more people in the line, with Jesus asking me to tell each of them the same thing. I was starting to feel better about myself. Eventually, He simply said, “Tell them what for,” as each one stepped up. “Go ahead,” He lovingly encouraged, as He motioned their way.

When I awoke, my guilt complex was completely gone. I was free. My temporary fight with depression was gone.

Now, before you jump all over me about vindication, let me state that what Jesus was asking me to do in my dream had nothing to do with vindication. I know vindication flies in the face of Jesus’ teaching about turning the other cheek. But I did not argue my truth. I did not lash out at my accusers. I was calm in dealing with each one because I had my Savior by my side. I felt no need to vindicate myself with Jesus there, holding my hand. He simply told me to tell them I knew they were lying, forgive them, and send them on their way.

Through this dream, God closed the book on my guilty conscience.

When I woke up, The Holy Spirit then led me to read the book of Ezra. Here is the biblical truth I learned about false accusations:

In a quick summary, King Cyrus allowed some of the exiles to return to Jerusalem to rebuild the house of God, to fulfill the prophesy spoken by Jeremiah (Ezra 1:1-3), and he also returned the temple articles that King Nebuchadnezzar had taken (Ezra 1:7). It didn’t take long for enemies of the exiles to frustrate their plans (Ezra 4:4-16). During the reign of subsequent kings, they continued making things difficult for the builders of the temple. They launched a specific complaint in a letter to Artaxerxes about how Jerusalem had always been a rebellious and wicked city (Ezra 4:12), and so Artaxerxes issued an order to stop work, so that the city would not be rebuilt (Ezra 4:21). During the reign of Darius, the Jews once again began building the temple, having the support and guidance of the prophets, and their enyy6emies once again tried to stir up trouble (Ezra 5:2-3). In response, the Jews stated in a letter to King Darius that they were working on the temple and the city by the decree of King Cyrus. Their letter is found in verses 5:11-17. At the end of the letter, they ask King Darius to do a thorough search of the archives, so that Darius may discover the truth for himself. This truth is verified and Darius’ response is found in verses 6:3-12. King Darius not only upheld the decree of his predecessor, but he also ordered that the accusers pay the expenses for rebuilding from the royal treasury and the revenues of Trans-Euphrates. The accusers had to give everything the Jews needed for the construction and also for the burnt offerings. King Darius furthermore decreed that anyone who continued to make trouble would be put to death.

Wow! What a turnaround. When questioned by their accusers, the elders calmly stated their case, and the truth prevailed because God saw their suffering, and He provided relief as only He can.

God sees our suffering. God knows our pain. God knows when we have been wrongly accused, just as He knew that the Jewish elders had been wrongly accused of building without permission. The elders did not seek to vindicate themselves. They did not seek retribution for years of being maligned and kept from their mission. All they wanted was to continue rebuilding the temple, as God had asked. Then, God provided the means necessary to finish the task without any further interference.

It is beautiful, the workings of Our Lord. He touched deep within my pain and healed yet another wound. He is so good to me.

My prayer for you today is that you may find healing for your inmost wounds.

In His grace,

Jennifer Joy

Troubled By Love

Once again, I have been having trouble sleeping. God is working on me again. I am a work in progress, as we all are, and I am grateful for each moment of His mercy and grace as He walks me through every heartbreak from my past.

I much prefer His discipline to being forgotten and unnoticed, and this is what I would like to talk about today.

Who wants an indifferent, uncaring God? Not me!

Before we come into His grace, we can fall into the trap of believing He does not care.

It is not that God does not care for us, it is that He is waiting for us to turn from our sins and cry out for His help. Many of the Psalms speak to this fact, and they are a great place to turn for hope, but I would like to quote a verse from Lamentations.

“My eyes will flow unceasingly, without relief, until The Lord looks down from heaven and sees.”

Lamentations 3:49

And also several verses from James:

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”

James 4:1-3

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.”

James 4:7-8

I thank God for giving me the perseverance to discover the depth of His love, for it was through a heartfelt prayer that I began my healing journey. I prayed, “Lord, please teach me to follow Your ways.” It was as simple as that. I prayed and He helped me submit myself to reading the Bible and living The Word. I turn to Him almost constantly in prayer nowadays.

If you find prayer difficult, then think of it simply as a conversation with a good friend. There are no rules or hoops to jump through in order to pray “correctly.” The majority of the time, I am not even on bended knee, because for years it was difficult for me to kneel down in prayer because of my pain. The biblical directives to kneel have more to do with submitting yourself through the condition of your heart, rather than the position of your body.

I thank Him abundantly every time I am rebuked, every time I am disciplined, because it means that He loves me enough to bother with me. It would be far worse if God threw up His hands in disgust and just walked away. People do that. But God does not. I know I have sinned far more than I would tolerate out of someone, if I were in His position. (Sometimes I wonder how my husband could be such a saint to put up with me for so long, but that’s another story.)

Being disciplined (as opposed to being punished or neglected) means that our parents care enough to make sure we follow the right path in life. It means that they love us and want the best for us. It means that they put our rearing on a higher level than their own selfish pursuits.

That’s the way it is supposed to work, anyway. Many parents fail to demonstrate love to their children in this way. Whether it be because of addictions, working too many hours, or the latest trend—not wanting to play the part of the bad parent by disciplining, because the children are from a broken home. We do not love our children when we sugar coat everything and refuse to carry out our parental duties.

A diet of lollypops and ice cream will result in a fat child, and a childhood without loving discipline and proper guidance will result in an adult who does not know boundaries, who does not know what love truly is.

Proverbs 3 tells of the wonderful blessings of fatherly love.

“My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear The Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

Honor The Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.

My son, do not despise The Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because The Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”

Proverbs 3:1-12

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Hebrews 12:11

“I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of The Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’ The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of The Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.”

Lamentations 3:19-27

“For no one is cast off by The Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.”

Lamentations 3:31-33

Thank You, Lord, for disciplining me. Thank You, Lord, for being the parent in my old age that I so desperately needed and yearned for in my youth. Thank You, Lord, for saving me from my own wickedness.

My prayer for you today: Even though I know you may go through difficult times as you are refined by His loving discipline, I pray that your burdens will be lightened by coming to know Our Lord intimately through prayer and living The Word.

In His grace,

Jennifer Joy

Down With The Flu

Oh, what a miserable month I had, while I was down with the bug.

It was a month full of misery, but a month where I did not lose my faith.

Though the devil tried to steal my joy over my recent healing, I would not give in to his lies.

Oh, what a beautiful thing Our Lord has given me.

His mercy touched my inmost wounds and He has healed me, body and soul.

I wrote a few months ago about our church laying hands on me and healing me from my severe pain and suffering. Well, shortly after my healing, I came down with the flu. As many of you may know, the flu has been especially bad again this year. Just about every rig that came through Cherry Valley during November and December had at least one person sick with the flu. From talking with locals and also with friends and family spread around the country, I ascertained that this particular strain of the flu seemed to follow a rather predictable timeline.

For me, it started with several days of sore and teary eyes and a runny nose. When my eyes started to feel better, the sinus congestion kicked into high gear. I went through several boxes of tissues as I sneezed my way through about two weeks of this phase alone. Then a few days of stomach pain, diarrhea, and fever were added to the sinus issues. When that went away, my congestion and runny nose also started to dissipate, which led me to believe that I was on the mend. Not so, because after a few days of gradual improvement, my eyes were acting up again and the congestion and runny nose and sneezing really kicked into high gear. This brought on a bad cough that after a few days, went away. Another week of sinus issues and I found myself truly on the rebound to better health again.

During this horrible month or so, while I was sick with the flu, the devil tried to convince me that I was having a Lyme flare-up. I cried and I prayed to God that it wasn’t so. I did firmly believe in my healing miracle, but I was weak and worn out from being sick.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

John 10:10

I kept talking to others who had had the flu recently. I kept telling myself that so-and-so had the same constellation of symptoms and for just as long a duration. Too many people were going through the same thing, and following the same pattern, for my symptoms to be something different than what they were suffering through.

That was the devil’s mistake—trying to use such a widespread seasonal illness to convince me I had not been divinely healed.

I stuck out my tongue at the enemy and continued to rely on God.

Once upon a time, I mistakenly thought that if my belief faltered even one iota, then I would lose the promises, the blessings, and the gifts God had given me. It was as if I were dreaming, and upon awakening, I found my hands empty because I could not hold onto the possessions of my dream.

Through the maturing of my faith, I have found that His blessings and promises are not fleeting. They are not dependent on me being perfect. If things were dependent on perfection, then I would never earn any of God’s gifts.

And that’s just it: We cannot earn a single thing, based on our own efforts or our own righteousness. We need Jesus to pay for our sins.

“’But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.’

‘If you can?’ said Jesus. ‘Everything is possible for one who believes.’

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, ‘I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!’”

Mark 9:23-24

The above verse shows how there can be a duality to our belief—an acceptable duality. Think of it this way: If you were to win the lottery, it would most likely take your brain a while to accept the truth of your sudden prosperity. Just because you may exclaim that it is too good to be true, or that you cannot believe it, it does not make it untrue.  If you took a dip in your pile of money, Uncle Scrooge McDuck style, then you might just realize your wealth because it is evident, right in front of you.

Similarly, the more you spend time with God and in His Word, the more your faith and belief will increase.

Although I used Uncle Scrooge and piles of money as an example, I do not condone such behavior, because when we act like Uncle Scrooge, we are worshiping money instead of worshiping God. Placing such a high value on the all mighty dollar and obsessing over our fortunes amounts to idolatry. There must be nothing higher than our faith in the true All Mighty.

My prayer for you today is for belief. I pray for your peace and your prosperity, as only God can provide.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Angels Singing

Please forgive that I have not been writing for a while. I have had the flu for at least the past month, making life quite miserable. I will talk more about the flu and its significance later, but for now I would like to share the story of my daughter’s birth, as tomorrow is her 26th birthday. I would add some of her baby pictures, except, sadly, we left them in Oregon.

My daughter, Kristina Marie, was born on a crisp, clear, cold day, the twenty-sixth day of the year, 1988, in a rickety old naval hospital on Whidbey Island. I can remember the icy wind; it seemed to seep right through the walls and windows. (This is why I joke with her about being born in a barn. That and the fact that the medical corpsmen treated us like cattle.) Luckily, I had a bed away from the window. Unluckily, since it was a shared room (having four beds), I bunked with a woman who must have thought hairspray was the glue that held the world together. She was a typical big-hair eighties type of woman, and so she was constantly applying makeup and fumigating the room with aerosol Aqua Net and nauseatingly floral perfume.

As a side note, Hairspray starring Ricki Lake hit the big screen in 1988, garnering its title from the simple fact that big eighties hair took a lot of spray to hold it all up. Since we are talking about eighties culture, I would most likely have been listening to Whitney Houston, Lionel Richie, and Heart, but my favorite song in 1988 was George Michael’s Faith.

Back then, we could get a gallon of gas for under a dollar, and postage was still under a quarter. Back then, I managed to get in and out of the grocery store, including diapers and baby food, for under $100 a month. Starbucks was just an infant itself, and coffee had not yet become the rage it is today. Checking accounts also typically earned interest. In fact, my first checking account was earning 5.25%. That’s unheard of nowadays. Savings accounts do not even earn that much today.

Kristina Marie was born on a Tuesday, although she was due over a week earlier, on a Friday (the fifteenth). I have always told her that she was born fashionably late, because she took her sweet time coming into the world, after 38 hours of labor, finally arriving just before 2:30 in the afternoon, on January 26, 1988. This was a leap year, something she and I have in common. Incidentally, my son was also born during a leap year.

Since she was determined to be fashionably late, I was likewise determined to employ just about any old wives’ tale to make her want to leave my womb. Someone told us that spicy food would trigger labor. Therefore, the Saturday before she was born, we went out for Chinese and then went to see Hello Vietnam, starring Robin Williams. The spicy food did not work, but between the MSG and hitting my head on the doorframe of our 1971 Chevy Malibu, I did have a whopper of a headache.

She weighed a healthy 8 pounds 5 ounces, and although this was considered “large,” especially for a first child, labor was a breeze. That is, the actual hard labor, when I was actively pushing, not the 37 hours that preceded it. I have never told anyone this before, but when I began pushing, a beautiful sense of peace came over me. It was as if nothing else mattered. Life. Death. The price of a cup of coffee. Nothing. Yet everything would soon matter for this new life that was entering the world. As I disappeared into the selfless act of birthing, the outside world went suddenly still. Although the doctors and corpsmen continued to buzz noisily around me, I heard nothing but angels singing. Even though I chose a drug-free birth, I felt no pain while pushing. Absolutely no pain. When I heard a faint voice say, “push,” I pushed. Instead of pain, a sense of warmth and joy overwhelmed me. When the voice said to push again, I pushed again, but still no pain. There was only this overwhelming peace as I floated, as if buoyed by the voices of angels. Four pushes, then I held my daughter in my arms for the first time. It was the single most beautiful experience of my life.

I had heard other women tell of not remembering the pain. Even though the women telling these stories acknowledged that there had been pain, they could not remember the severity. Thankfully, pain has a way of disappearing from our memories in this way, and it only leaves traces behind. It leaves an “oh, yeah, I remember now,” type memory, which we recall only when we go through it again. This was not the case for me. I seriously felt no pain. During the bulk of my labor, I do remember a great amount of pain, and fear. In fact, I cried out for my mother. Kristina’s father called my mom and told her I needed her, and so she and my sister drove five hours, to arrive just after Kristina was born. But during the active part of labor, it was as if God had placed the angels there to take the pain from me and allow me the full beauty of the moment. The pure ecstasy of it all. I thought maybe I had imagined it, that is, until I had my son. The pain from his birth, I distinctly remember going through it all. Unlike his sister, he was in a hurry to enter this world, and if his head had not been so big, he probably would have been born in the car on the way to the hospital. The pain from his birth was overwhelming and so sudden that it sent my body into shock, but his is another story not meant for today, other than as a point of comparison.

My newborn and I spent three days in the hospital, which was a typical length of stay back then. The Navy charged us a whopping $26.85 for our hospital stay, which was the cost of the meals consumed. I bet you couldn’t pull that off today, without having double coverage or some other wickedly good medical plan.

My prayer for you today is for peace, love, and joy through all of life’s challenges.

In His grace,

Jennifer Joy

The Faithfulness of Ruth

I awoke this morning, knowing that I must write about Ruth. I will explain why later.

I have read, over and over, the account of Ruth, the daughter-in-law of Naomi. It is a beautiful account of one young woman’s faith in a God she did not grow up knowing, for she was a Moabitess, and the people of Moab worshipped false gods.

It overwhelms me that the Book of Ruth is even in The Bible. First, it tells of the life of a woman. There are only two biblical books specifically about women, the other being the Book of Esther. Few women are even mentioned in the genealogy studies by name, comparatively speaking, and many of the women in The Bible are simply referred to by their gender, (even though they were important enough to mention).

Even the woman who anointed Jesus with perfume before his crucifixion is only called “a woman” or “this woman,” while the man who owned the house in Bethany where the anointing took place was specifically named. Even though Jesus states that “what she has done will also be told, in memory of her,” she is still only referred to by her gender. Women simply did not hold much worth in biblical times. (This is a topic for another day, and I will not get into its significance/relevance now.) Specific women are mentioned usually only in accordance with their male relations. Wife of, mother of, sister of, etc.

“While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.” (Matthew 26:6-7)

“Aware of this, Jesus said to them, ‘Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. . . I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.’” (Matthew 26:10, 13)

Secondly, it strikes me because, in The Old Testament, there are many admonitions against marrying foreign women, mostly for fear of falling under the curse of worshipping false gods. Yet, here in The Old Testament, is a story about a foreign-born woman, and she comes to marry a very important man. (I use the word “story” hesitantly because “story” usually indicates a work of fiction, whereas I firmly believe the Bible contains only God-breathed historical accounts, and as such, is the truth. The only real truth in this fallen world.)

However, Ruth was an extraordinary young woman.

Even though her husband (Naomi’s son) had died and she had not bore him any sons, she clung to Naomi and vowed to return to Naomi’s homeland with her. In all customary rights in her country, she very well could have returned to her own parents’ home and taken another husband, as it indicates Orpah (the other sister-in-law) did. (See Ruth 1:8-14)

She was a very loyal daughter-in-law. Her actions showed selflessness. She had taken her husband’s God as her own. This is one biblical example where it shows honor in a woman, where she actually obeys her husband and his religion, instead of her influencing her husband away from The One True God. To me, this also says she was very intelligent and able to discern the truth from all the lies she had most likely heard while growing up (through the worship of her people’s false gods). In much of The Bible, women are depicted as conniving and deceptive, finding their power only in their feminine, deceptive ways.

“I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare.” (Ecclesiastes 7:26)

But Ruth was different. She was intelligent, as I mentioned. She recognized her standing as a foreigner, and she knew that she had no right to ask for favors when it came to following the harvesters in the barley fields of Naomi’s kinsman, Boaz. When she met Boaz, she humbled herself and told the truth, instead of trying to be deceptive or running away and hiding her shame of being, essentially, a beggar.

“At this she bowed down with her face to the ground. She exclaimed, ‘Why have I found favor in your eyes that you would notice me—a foreigner?’. . . ‘May I continue to find favor in your eyes, my lord,’ she said. ‘You have spoken kindly to your servant—though I do not have the standing of one of your servant girls.’” (Ruth 2:10, 13)

What happened next is even more amazing.

When I first studied Ruth, I did not understand why she would lie, like a dog, at the feet of Boaz. Was she showing submissiveness by keeping his feet warm? She was a noble woman. The Bible says as much. So the gesture was not an offer to pay back his kindness sexually. When Boaz discovered her at his feet, he kept her honor intact. She returned to Naomi before anyone could recognize her. (See Ruth, chapter 3) So, what then?

I studied the kinsmanship-redeemer obligations to find the answers.

It was indeed a noble thing she did. She had prepared herself as a bride and offered herself in marriage to Boaz, as per the kinsmanship-redeemer law that upheld the family obligation to help a dead brother (or nephew in this case) carry on his name. Knowing full well this law, Boaz knew exactly what her intentions were and that Naomi had put her up to it.

Naomi could have released Ruth to chase after younger men, but both women were known to be noble, and Ruth had vowed (in verses 1:16-17) to stay with Naomi until death, and therefore, I interpret the decision also as mature, most likely beyond her years. As such, she would not allow herself to be given to her own wanton desires and whims of lust. I imagine many young women of that day were much like the young women of today: Flighty, self-seeking, immature. I do not mean for this to demean young women; however, wisdom in relationships, as in any other area of life, comes with experience and age, i.e. maturity. And I myself have been an immature young woman, tempted by my own wanton flights of fancy.

This was the best option, not only for the family but also for Ruth. It was a win-win, and we all benefited from the integrity of that noble young woman, as I will show next.

From the union between Ruth and Boaz, Obed was born. Obed was the grandfather of David. Through King David’s lineage, we also find the greatest Man to ever walk the earth—Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior. (For a full listing of the genealogy of Jesus, please see Luke 3:23-38)

And this brings me to this morning, when I awoke sermonizing the Book of Ruth. This often happens to me, waking up spouting biblical truths. This happens usually in answer to my pleading prayers to Our Lord.

My prayers in the wee hours of this morning, after being unable to sleep most of the night, were rather pitiful. It was self pity, through and through.

“Lord,” I cried, “I study and I pray and I study and pray some more. I seek to know and do Your will. But how can I know for sure that I am doing the right things, the proper things You want, when I do not come from a strong Christian family?”

I cried out to Our Lord in self pity about my past. I will not go into detail, but I did not learn right from wrong early in life. I made mistake after mistake, not having a strong, supportive family to guide me. I have paid dearly for those mistakes I made. And I still make mistakes. I still sin, but then again, everyone sins in one way or another, and it is up to us to recognize when we have sinned and to ask for forgiveness when we do.

However, Our God is a faithful God. He answers my prayers. He hears my cries in the night and He gives me wisdom and blessings beyond what I deserve.

Like Ruth, I was “foreign” to the Way, the Truth, and the Life. I did not know Christ. I knew “of” Him in my childhood and I tried to please Him, but I did not know how. My sense of loyalty, honor, and respect had become skewed, distorted. I did not come to know Him until later in my years.

I read recently how once we give up a virtue (such as virginity) we can never get it back. We are marred, disfigured at that point, so it seemed to be saying to me. My self pity ran to how disfigured I  must be at this point in my life, having given my virginity before marriage, having broken trusts and lied habitually in my early years, having shop lifted, as well as other sins. “How ugly  must I be to You, God?” I cried.

His answer to me, through The Book of Ruth is thus: Even though I came from a questionable background, I am still beautiful in His sight for how I try to live my life now. Ruth’s sin was idolatry, as her parents most likely practiced. Even so, Ruth was given the noble position of being in the lineage of Jesus. Our God forgives our past mistakes. Our God overlooks our sins, if we repent and seek to live an honorable, God-honoring life.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:14)

Our God is an awesome God.

Maybe that’s why I love Him so.

My prayer for you today is twofold: May you know discernment in your own decision-making and may you know how wonderfully beautiful you are to Our Lord and Savior.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Respite

Sometimes, there’s no rest for the wicked, as the saying goes. Then again, this sinner has decided to take advantage of an opportunity to rest, while we travel for a short while out of the local area. I will not be able to use my computer for the next week, so I will apologize in advance for not posting. If I get a chance to get some writing done, I will see if I can get it posted. Otherwise, have a great week. Lord willing, I will.

My prayer for you today, this week, and this New Year is for rest when you need it, unfettered joy, and peace beyond comprehension for all time.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Friendship, Love, and Loyalty

What is friendship, truly? Is it only a relationship, through which we can get our own personal needs met?

Surely, it is not.

Friendship is a deep and lasting bond. Friendship is a gift we can treasure the rest of our lives. The bond between friends is one of the strongest on earth.

Friendship oftentimes is stronger than blood relationships. It is unfortunate but true. We cannot choose our birth family, but God has chosen our parents and siblings for us for a reason. Life is a learning experience from the day we are born to the day we die, and God has given our specific families to us so that we can learn the lessons He has intended for us.

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

King Saul’s initial feelings for David show how deceptive relationships can be and also how fleeting. It shows how we cannot always trust a person’s words, their confession of love for us. All too often, words are as empty as the air used to breathe them into existence.

“Saul liked him very much, and David became one of his armor-bearers.” 1 Samuel 16:21

“And from that time on Saul kept a close eye on David. . . Saul had a spear in his hand and he hurled it, saying to himself, ‘I’ll pin David to the wall.’ But David eluded him twice. Saul was afraid of David, because The Lord was with David but had departed from Saul.” 1 Samuel 18:9, 10-11

“Saul’s plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines.” 1 Samuel 18:25

“Saul became still more afraid of him, and he remained his enemy the rest of his days.” 1 Samuel 18:29

Yet true loyalty in friendship can be found, as in the relationship between David and King Saul’s son, Jonathan.

“Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.” 1 Samuel 18:1

By all human rights, Jonathan should have succeeded his father as king, yet by God’s anointing through the prophet Samuel (1 Samuel 16), David was to be Saul’s successor. Through normal human jealousy, Jonathan should have cursed the day David was born. Through that time’s acceptable loyalty to his father, Jonathan should have set out to kill David, just as his father tried to do. Even now, people tend to choose family over outsiders, as a sign of family loyalty, and it is good and honorable to do so in most cases. However, Jonathan followed the Word of God, rather than the bitterness of his own father’s jealousy and rage against David, when he chose to support and protect the rightful heir to the throne (David) from his father.

“While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. ‘Don’t be afraid,’ he said. ‘My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.’” 1 Samuel 23:15-17

Jonathan was unable to follow his father’s example because his father chose to follow his own jealousy, fear, and rage. Jonathan chose a better path. He chose to listen to God and to honor his bond of friendship, even though this, in a way, dishonored his father.

Sometimes we must make these choices, if our own family does not set a good example.

What, then, is love?

God is love. (1 John 4:16)

Love is manifest in peace, mercy, grace, respect, trust, compassion, sincerity, forgiveness, and other noble pursuits.

There is no fear in love. (1 John 4:18)

Love is not found in scheming, lying, cheating, anger, jealousy, violence, insults, hatred, and the like.

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:9-10

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Matthew 7:12

I will come back to speak more about love another day.

So in the meantime . . .

My prayer for you today is that you might know the depth and the beauty and the trueness of God’s love.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Joyous New Year

In my studies today, Our Lord kept pointing me in the same direction, to Isaiah 43 and 44. So, I will simply share these verses with you, in hopes that their promises bring you as much comfort as they have me. They are filled with hope for the future.

But now, this is what The Lord says--

he who created you, Jacob,

he who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am The Lord your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I give Egypt for your ransom,

Cush and Seba in your stead.

Since you are precious and honored in my sight,

and because I love you,

I will give people in exchange for you,

nations in exchange for your life.

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

I will bring your children from the east

and gather you from the west.

I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’

and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’

Bring my sons from afar

and my daughters from the ends of the earth--

everyone who is called by my name,

whom I created for my glory,

whom I formed and made.”

Isaiah 43:1-7

 

“I, even I, am The Lord,

and apart from me there is no savior.

I have revealed and saved and proclaimed--

I, and not some foreign god among you.

You are witnesses,”

declares The Lord,

“that I am God.

Yes, and from ancient days I am he.

No one can deliver out of my hand.

When I act, who can reverse it?”

Isaiah 43:12-13

 

“Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:18-19

“I, even I, am he who blots out

your transgressions,

for my own sake,

and remembers your sins no more.”

Isaiah 43:25

This is what The Lord says--

he who made you,

who formed you in the womb,

and who will help you:

“Do not be afraid,

For I will pour water on the thirsty land,

and streams on the dry ground;

I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,

and my blessing on your descendants.

They will spring up like grass in a meadow,

like poplar tress by flowing streams.”

Isaiah 44:2, 3-4

Thank you all for joining me once again, in this, the beginning of a new year.

My prayer for you today is for blessings in this new and glorious year of Our Lord, 2014.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

2013 In Review

This has been an amazing year, full of ups and downs. We finally got on the road, after three long years of trying to start living the RV lifestyle. (Read about our struggles over the past three years here.) Then, once we got started on the road, God changed our game plan (big time), thus the birth of this new blog.

This past year has held some of the worst physical pain I have ever experienced, but God was faithful to heal me physically a few months ago. One thing I have learned about God’s healing miracles is that it isn’t always instantaneous. Even the apostle Paul, after recovering his sight, needed time to recover. (Acts 9:19 “and after taking some food, he regained his strength.”) Finding the truth in this verse helped me to believe in my own healing, for there was instantaneous relief from the severity of my pain, my migraines, and even my food allergies, but some of the other issues are taking a little longer to overcome. Some of these other issues have to do with regaining the strength I lost during so many years of illness.

The first quarter of the year also held some of the worst emotional pain I have ever experienced. My marriage was on the brink of disaster and my father passed away from cancer on the first day of Spring—a day that should herald hope and new beginnings. In a way, it did bring hope and a new beginning, because God was again faithful in His love, care, and compassion for this lowly sinner. After my father passed, my Savior finished the task of releasing me from my past. In a way, Jesus brought to a close what He started in me five years ago, when my mother passed away suddenly and when I became seriously ill (actually I fell seriously ill about six months before my mother passed on, but I was diagnosed the same week she died).

When God healed me of my past, my marriage was also instantaneously healed. Our marriage has never been better than it is right now, and I will be forever grateful to God for it.

God has also brought my daughter and I back together. I will not go into details at this time; just know that this too has been healed.

One thing we have yet to be healed of, however, is our finances. We are struggling horribly, barely making it month to month. Everything is so much more expensive down here in Southern California, than it is in Oregon. My husband’s past employer, whom his retirement is through, is playing games with what little they provide. They’ve added higher copays and deductibles to our health insurance, and they are taking more and more funds out of his pension (to pay their higher costs of providing the insurance, I suppose). Plus our motor coach broke down three times on our way south, which drained our savings account, and now we fear traveling too far because if we break down again, we won’t be able to fix her again. So my latest struggle on our journey, which God has us on, is overcoming the fear of being stranded in the middle of nowhere, with no money. Though I should not fear even this, because God has always been faithful to make sure I have been taken care of in my times of need. He has always provided some form of “Manna” to keep us alive, sheltered, and fed.

Sometimes I worry and I fear that I will not be able to carry out this mission He has placed on my heart. I fear this because of our lack of finances. How can I ever hope to help others, if we ourselves are barely above destitute? Though in this area, I do have hope, for my God is a faithful god. I know He will provide when the time is right. In the meantime, I continue to pray and believe.

My prayer for you today is that, even if your year has been painful, that you can see where God has given bits of joy for your endurance. I also pray that God will provide and care for you, as He has been faithful to love and care for me.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Stress Busters

Stress can make or break a person.

Stress can eat a hole right through your stomach. Stress can cause you to make poor decisions, to make mistakes. Stress can keep you from sleeping. Stress can make you prone to overeating.

Stress can also make us aware of trouble spots in our lives.

In moderation, stress can build our resiliency. Stress can teach us patience. Stress can drive us to achieve great things.

Stress can also be good for us. We experience good stress, or eustress, when we fall in love, go to an amusement park, or joyfully anticipate the birth of a child.

In eustress, our hearts pound. We feel a surge of pleasure and excitement rise in us. We can barely stifle our enthusiasm.

But when we are experiencing too much stress (even good stress when to excess), this chronic stress can have detrimental effects on our health and our ability to function. We miss deadlines at work. We find ourselves running late, and then we miss the bus, or we get into an accident on the way to work because we are thinking about our obligations instead of focusing on the road. Our blood pressure rises and stays elevated. We become less able to tolerate change. We become vulnerable to all sorts of illnesses. We carry our stress overload on our shoulders, as if it were a real physical burden, and the added tension brings on back pain and headaches. When I am under too much stress, the tightness in my shoulders even makes my hands go to sleep.

So, if we are under so much pressure and it is stealing our joy, how can we ever hope to get out from under it?

I have a simple list of suggestions, and although I say it is a simple list, until you can see your way clear, it can be anything but simple to accomplish. Even so, your health is worth every effort to get your stress back under control.

1. Learn to say, “no.” Or at least learn to say, “let me get back to you.”
2. Set healthy boundaries, for your time and even to include whom you allow into your personal space.
3. Acknowledge your innate value. You are not a doormat, to be used by everyone who enters your life.
4. Prioritize your obligations.
5. Delegate anything that needs done but is not worthy of being on your hectic schedule. (By this I mean that older kids can do dishes and fold laundry. Or even hire a housekeeper or gardener to come once a week.)
6. Laugh often. Watch comedies instead of dramas, as even violence and strife seen on the screen can raise our stress levels because we unknowingly internalize it. It’s human nature.
7. Take a walk, either alone or with a loved one.
8. Exercise, but know that exercise does not have to mean sit-ups. Gardening, if you enjoy it, can be excellent for the physical and mental being.
9. Memorize a key verse or make up your own mantra to get you through the stressful times. (My favorite is Philippians 4:13.)
10. Make a list of things you enjoy, and then prioritize some of them into your week. Hobbies can be great stress relievers.
11. Show yourself grace and mercy by not trying to be a superhero.
12. Write out what is so stressful for you because as you write, things will become clearer, and then hopefully, through your writings, you will find a solution. This can be only for your eyes, or if it helps, share it with someone you trust.

 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4: 6-7

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34

“‘Martha, Martha,’ The Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.’” Luke 10:41-42

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:16

My prayer for you today is that you may find at least a moment of laughter and joy in each and every day.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Drama-Free Zone

I’ve been hearing people around me say that they are tired of all the drama, and I’m not just talking about teens. I’m talking about women (and even men) old enough to know better, than to continue the drama cycle.

I see them repeatedly inviting drama into their lives, with the decisions they make.

Everything is a choice. Everything in our lives stems from decisions we have made. However, unless we actually pay attention to what we are doing, we will not see that we have made poor choices.

It is my firm belief that, if we truly want a drama-free life, then we need to make the pledge to live in a truly drama-free zone.

How do we do this?

There’s biblical principals that can guide us in making the right decisions, but before I list key verses, I would like to give a list of do’s and don’ts.

1. First, stop the lying. When we lie, we have not only the truth to keep track of (which is easy to do) but also the lies. Lying gets us all twisted, and then we cannot remember who we told what to, and then all hell breaks loose when we make a mistake and say the wrong thing to someone we have been lying to, or when the truth gets back to them through someone else. We can  lose our most important relationships through lying. Plus, we teach people not to trust us, when we lie.
2. Stop gossip in its tracks. Sure, it can be enticing, listening to all the juicy bits of someone else’s life, and it can be even more enticing to pass what we hear along to others, but when we participate in gossip, we kill our relationships. It is one thing to pass along details we have permission (directly from the person) to pass along, but it is another thing entirely to say things behind their back. As an example, if a friend made it public that she is pregnant, and she is full of joy about the pregnancy and doesn’t care if the world knows, then it is okay to share in her joy and pass it along. It is entirely a separate matter if her pregnancy was unplanned or the result of an affair and she is fretting over all the changes it brings into her life, and she told you in confidence because she trusted you. Basically, before you open your mouth, think, “Does what I am about to say hurt or help the person and his/her situation?” If it hurts, keep your mouth shut. If you are unsure, keep your mouth shut. It is better to err on the side of caution.
3. Stop reading tabloids. Tabloids gossip about celebrities. When we read tabloids, including the supposedly higher class gossip magazines, then we contribute to perpetuating the cycle of gossip. Gossip hurts, even if it is about celebs. When we buy and read these magazines (or watch such shows) then we are telling society that it is okay to spread rumors and gossip.
4. Be true to yourself and others. When we act one way in front of this person and another way in front of that person, then we are two-faced. If what you are doing is not acceptable in front of everyone, then stop it. Any behavior can be changed if you really want change in your life.
5. Know who you can trust before opening up. If the person is a known gossiper or liar, then don’t share important things with them. Some people can take even the most innocent of comments and twist them until they become hurtful. With these people, it is usually best to not say anything beyond the weather forecast.
6. Become trustworthy. Make every effort to be the type of friend they need you to be, to be the type of person you would want as a friend. Adding to the drama isn’t worth the price of losing valuable relationships.
7. Avoid drama. It may not be polite to walk away from a conversation, but sometimes that’s what needs to be done. I’ve had to walk away from conversations, when my acquaintances did not get the message that I did not care to hear about so-and-so’s troubles. Sometimes walking away is the only thing that makes them understand you are serious about remaining gossip and drama free. Don’t make excuses or debate the issue; just walk away.
8. It is unfortunate, but sometimes relationships must be ended if you have tried everything to make them understand and the other person still does not accept your unwillingness to participate in the drama. Have confidence that there are better relationships out there waiting for you.
9. And finally, forgive. Forgive others their mistakes and how they have hurt you. Own up to your own mistakes by asking forgiveness of those you have wronged. Forgive yourself for those mistakes you have made. And ask God’s forgiveness. His forgiveness will bring wondrous blessings and peace to your life.
   

And now to the key verses. As I’ve said before, memorizing Bible verses can and will help improve your life. Write them out on Post-its or 3 x 5 cards and display them where you can read them throughout the day.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12

“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.” Proverbs 11:3

“Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” Proverbs 11:12-13

“Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.” Proverbs 26:20

“ The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others; who despises a vile person but honors those who fear The Lord; who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind; who lends money to the poor without interest; who does not accept a bribe against the innocent. Whoever does these things will never be shaken.” Psalm 15:2-5

“Cast your cares on The Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalm 55:22

“Then he adds: ‘Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.’” Hebrews 10:17

My prayer for you today is that you may find the peace that is only found in knowing Christ.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

 

Family Traditions

In this fast-paced world, where single parents are raising their children alone, or grandparents, out of necessity, take on the raising of their grandchildren, or where households are a mishmash of friends cohabitating out of financial necessity, is there anything left of the old holiday traditions?

With finances so tight that the special holiday meals and traditions cannot be carried out, what then are we passing along to our children? Or with families going every which way that they don’t even get together anymore, can we even expect Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter (and other holidays) to be sacred  anymore?

It pains me to see far more emphasis and effort put into the gatherings surrounding football games than our sacred holidays.

I dearly miss the gatherings we used to have when I was a child. We never had much, but there was always something special under the tree. In fact, one of my earliest memories is way back when I was probably three or four, and we were living with my mom’s parents. The house was very small, especially with seven people living together. We had our tree in the basement that year. I remember this so well, as clear as if it were yesterday. I got an Avon powder puff bunny and a Barbie that year. I was thrilled. It was my first Barbie.

I also have fond memories of the other Christmases during my childhood. One of our traditions was that we would spend Christmas Eve at Grandma and Grandpa’s, having a nice family dinner together. Grandma was always buzzing around, her apron strings almost flying behind her as she made her way around the table, making sure everyone was well fed. I rarely saw her sit and partake of the entire meal with us, until later years when age finally slowed her down.

Then we would go home, all rosy-cheeked and eager to go to bed so that we could play with our new toys Christmas morning.

One of Mom’s traditions was cinnamon rolls. I absolutely adored her cinnamon rolls. She’d make the dough the night before, at least a triple batch, and then she would put the Tupperware fix-n-mix bowl in the refrigerator to rise overnight. The next morning, that huge bowl would be overflowing with rich, sweet dough, and Mom was usually up at six to finish making the cinnamon rolls, so that we could enjoy them for breakfast.

Once again, I found myself really missing my mom the other day. She passed away five years ago. Wow. It is difficult to believe it has been that long already.

So I decided to whip up a batch of rich, sweet dough last night, and I got up this morning at six to finish them. It’s difficult, baking in a tiny RV oven, but I managed to make a single batch, and soon the entire coach was filled to overflowing with the wonderfully sweet smell of Christmas.

My prayer for you today is for fond memories to surface and for traditions to be reborn, if they have died away.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

 

RICH SWEET DOUGH FOR CINNAMON ROLLS

• 2 pkg. yeast
• 1/4 cup warm water
• 1 cup warm milk
• 1 cup softened butter
• 2 eggs, beaten 
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. grated lemon rind
• 4 1/2 cups flour

Dissolve the yeast in the warm water. Combine with the rest of the ingredients, beating the flour in cup by cup until smooth. The dough will be soft. Cover and place in the refrigerator to chill at least two hours or overnight. divide in half, roll out, fill with softened butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, raisins, and nuts (optional). Roll up tightly. Slice one inch thick and place in a buttered pan. Let rise over a pan of warm water. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 to 25 minutes.

Glaze immediately with your favorite vanilla frosting (thinned slightly). My favorite  frosting recipe follows:

CREAM CHEESE FROSTING

• 1/2 cup cream cheese
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• 3-4 cups powdered sugar
• enough milk or water to thin to desired consistency

 

Personal Best: Part Four: Well Grounded

This is the final in the series on raising the bar. As I mentioned in the first post, I believe that if we can achieve one, then the other three will follow. This is the one that I believe is the key. Being properly grounded makes everything else easier in life.

But what do I mean by being grounded? Many people talk about having their head in the clouds, or being flighty. These are the opposite of being grounded.

To be grounded means that we have a solid foundation to stand on. It means that we are focused and present in the now (not ten minutes from now and not two weeks from now). Our minds are not racing ahead to fantastical what-ifs. We are calm.

When we are not grounded, everything can become unraveled easily because we tend to be overly emotional. We get upset or angry for unworthy reasons. We get frustrated when things don’t go as we expect, often because our expectations are not based in reality.

So, how can we get grounded? For a quick situational fix, the easiest thing to do is breathe. Concentrate on your breath and let it bring you back to the present. This is not only for the negative events in our lives, but also for those events that are too stimulating to take in all at once. If you find you are getting too excited (about anything, get your mind out of the gutter, although that’s a good reason, as well) and you subsequently find your mind racing, then breathe. Deep breaths. In and out. Until the excitement is under control.

When emotions are allowed to run rampant (as in our over-excitement), we make decisions that we later regret. We react instead of act. What I mean by this is that actions are premeditated. We have spent time in making the decision to do the action. Whereas, reactions are spontaneous. We don’t think. We let the circumstances or the emotions or someone else make decisions for us. And this is not good.

So breathe.

And then when you are calmer, while you are still breathing, think.

Where can we find a solid foundation to stand on? We can find this by exerting wiser choices in who we choose to be in relationship with. This is a good starting point, but the most important relationship, the only one that can truly be our rock to stand on, is Jesus.

When we give ourselves over to Jesus, and we follow His teachings, then we have our solid foundation. If all our decisions are based on biblical truths, then we can be sure we are making good, wholesome, honorable decisions in our lives.

I hear you when you say that The Bible was written several millennia ago. You think its outdated. I understand your concerns. However, when we are in relationship with Jesus, and we have the Holy Spirit whispering truths in our ears, we begin to understand. We begin to see how The Bible is still relevant today. Trust me. Or better yet, trust God’s Word. If you earnestly endeavor to find life’s answers in The Bible, a whole new world will be opened up to you. It is as simple as saying a prayer and opening the book. If you are not sure where to start, the Psalms is always a good choice, and it can be found right in the middle of The Bible. The Book of John is another great choice. Galatians is my personal favorite. It teaches me that grace is based on faith and not on our silly human strivings. Through faith, I am a new creation. I don’t have to jump through any hoops or prove anything to anybody. God knows my heart, and so He reads my heart directly. Without striving constantly to prove my worthiness, an unspeakable joy fills me as I go about my daily chores. Since I don’t have to prove myself anymore, I eagerly work for His Kingdom, to share this wondrous joy with others and give them hope for their own joy, found only in the unconditional love of Our Savior.

So that is my prayer for you today, that you might be open to receiving the Joy of Christ.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Personal Best: Part Three: Trust

Honesty and trust go hand in hand. The more honest I am known to be, the more likely it is that people will trust me. If I’m not a trustworthy person, doors will close for me, instead of opening to greater opportunities.

Lying is a tiresome endeavor. Instead of just having to remember the truth, now the teller has to remember each twist and turn in the story he’s been weaving, usually to cover up the truth. Before long, the whole thing unravels, and people get hurt. The liar gets hurt as well, as his relationships suffer the consequences of lies that need not be told.

Wouldn’t it be easier to just tell the truth? Instead of weaving a fantastic story, just spit it out. The fantastic story is bound to unravel. The truth is bound to come out, sooner or later. Then the lies lead to a horrific aftermath, and we are left putting out relationship fires. Face it, there’s less of a mess to clean up, if the truth is told in the first place.

Being honest in our words is only part of the whole trust issue, though. To be trustworthy, our actions must also be held up to the light. If a person isn’t reliable, then people tend to judge him/her as not being trustworthy, as well. Idle promises, again, bring us down. If we make idle promises, then our trustworthiness is called into question. If we say we will be somewhere and then don’t show up, we are not trustworthy.

It goes without saying that if we take what isn’t ours, then we are not trustworthy.

If we expect others to trust us, then we need to prove we deserve to be trusted. Make all your dealings and all your words reach to the higher standards you are now striving for. As you walk this new, narrow path, you will discover that, even though it is narrow, it has many gates that open to wondrous new experiences and opportunities. It has many more and much better gates than that old, crooked path of the past.

As with anything that is worth having, this too will take patience and persistence. When we try to start fresh, with a background of distrust, it will take time for others to feel secure enough to trust again. Keep at it. Hang in there. Even if at first, old relations refuse to believe the change in you, please know that it is possible for relationships to be renewed and to overcome trust issues. It will take patience on your part, but I know that you are worth the effort to strive for better relationships.

As I stated a few days ago, take every word that comes out of your mouth seriously. Make each word count. Make each word truthful. Others take our words seriously, and part of this is because, as the Bible states, “For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). What comes out of our mouths matters.

If we like juicy tidbits, then we gossip. If we are prone to anger, then we will argue. These are examples of our hearts dictating what our mouths do.

But we cannot simply say, “the heart wants what the heart wants.” We must take steps to stop our mouths from blurting out every hurtful or gossipy thing that lands on our tongue. Bite that tongue if you must, for the tongue is the most powerful muscle in the body. It can do more damage than any thrown punch, but don’t go throwing punches, either. I wouldn’t want people thinking I advocate violence as a solution for anything. Because I don’t.

My prayer for you today is that a special person will surface in your life. It may be that you already know this special person, waiting there to be your helper. I pray they will be someone whom you can bond with in a wholesome manner. My prayer is that this person will offer you unconditional love and will be a shining example of strength and honesty of character, so that you can lean on them as you persevere in overcoming your challenges.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Personal Best: Part Two: Commitment

It should be a no brainer that when it comes to employment and to relationships, having high standards is very important. However, we seem to forget what commitment is, when we become complacent or disgruntled.

We get a new job, and we are all excited about having the new job. So we promise ourselves that we will learn all we can learn and do the best job we can possibly do, and we quickly learn how to do our new job. We even dare to believe we do our job better than the guys that have been there longer.

Then we begin to notice undercurrents. We learn the unwritten hierarchy and we learn how to leverage ourselves above the others. Then we start noticing how the others are slacking off. We start to hear conflicting messages from the higher-ups. An unfavorable attitude brews in us. “Why should I do my job to the fullest if they aren’t?”

The same scenario can play out in our relationships as well. At first, all we see is sunshine and rainbows. We see stars that blind us, as we travel through the early stages of a relationship. In a romantic relationship, this is the lust phase, when we are madly passionate about everything that has to do with our new beau.

But after awhile, we start seeing the blemishes and the flaws in our new beau. We then enter into a phase that will make or break the relationship. If time has been invested to really learn about our new interest, then the relationship will weather any differences of opinion that happen to arise. However, as in many romantic encounters, if the new couple chooses to explore each others bodies and they neglect their minds, there isn’t enough in the lust to keep the relationship alive. That’s why it is so important to spend some time really getting to know someone before hopping into bed—so that the relationship is built on a solid foundation of common ground, instead of heady clouds of lust.

If we are reaching for a strong committed relationship this time, instead of another painful fling, then we need to invest the time upfront to build that foundation.

Any beau worth having will understand waiting until you know each other better.

We need to set the bar higher for ourselves, if we expect to experience commitment in our relationships and in our work.

When it comes to our personal standards, where we choose to set the bar is a personal matter. What I mean by this, to achieve my own personal best, my standards cannot be dependent upon anyone else’s performance or demands.

I’ll go back to the work analogy to explain this better. When we accept employment, we agree to perform our assigned duties. We agree to uphold everything listed in our employment contract. Most companies nowadays have rules concerning our conduct while under their employ and while on their premises. Most of these are standard rules of etiquette. Others are specific to the company. Either way, when we sign on, we agree to follow all their “rules.” Their list of expectations is the baseline. Our bar needs to be at least this high for us to succeed in their company. As a side note, this is not basing our standards on their demands. This is us meeting the expectations of our job.

However, sometimes we must follow our own standards, rather than blindly following orders. As as example of times when our personal standards trump company standards, sometimes, after we have been in a company for awhile, we start to notice shady dealings at the management level or above. Even though this seems to be the status quo for the company and other employees are following suit, my own personal standards would keep me from partaking in those shady dealings. For instance, I once had a situation at work where I was informed that someone was in the process of stealing people’s identities, and he was using our company to do so. The higher ups knew the repercussions on their customers, if this criminal succeeded. Yet when the officials (police and/or feds) told them to carry on as if nothing were wrong, because they were on to him, my boss passed that official command along to me. Try as I might, I could not follow through with my orders. My personal standards would not allow me to partake in ruining the lives of all those strangers, when his call came on my phone.

Included in the expectations of employers is being a productive member of the staff. Being hired to do a specific job is a binding agreement between two entities, between employer and employee, and nowhere does it state that if so-and-so slacks off, then I get to as well. And this is the same in relationships. Just think of that thing moms used to say, “If Bobby jumped of the bridge, would you?”

When we disregard our work ethic to play the same games as everyone else, everyone else does not suffer the consequences for us when we get caught and get either reprimanded or fired. It is our own reputation that suffers. Our own paycheck suffers and our own family’s welfare suffers. Same goes for our relationships. When we neglect our morals, our reputation suffers, and it costs us other, more valuable relationships.

I’ve had problems in the past with thinking I had to play their games in order to be liked by the other employees. Being accepted was very important to me, and unfortunately I made decisions that didn’t always honor my employer. It didn’t take long before I figured out that my place of employment was not a social outlet; then I started putting my nose into my work and stayed away from the gossipers and those who tried to entice me to extra long breaks, and such. I am not placing blame. I made every decision. We like to blame things on that catchy phrase, “peer pressure,” but even though I was being pressured, I made the final decision to succumb each time.

My prayer for you today is for you to find strength to stand up against peer pressure. My prayer is that your relationships will grow and blossom, and that you will blossom where you are planted.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Personal Best: Part One: Reliability

I have spoken several times in the past few months about raising the bar and having higher personal standards. It is very important that we have honorable values and morals. It is important for our dealings with society and within our own family. It is important for our employment and financial future. Having maturity in these areas just plain helps us function in life. Today, I would like to share about some of the best qualities we can exhibit. If we strive for these, we can achieve the things we wish to achieve in life. It’s not a long list, only four characteristics to work toward. I believe that if you master one, then the other three will automatically follow. This I will explain more in the fourth and last post in this series.

• Reliable
• Committed 
• Trustworthy
• Well Grounded

Being unreliable, nowadays, seems to be part and parcel with being young. Somehow, we have managed to not teach the younger generations how to be upstanding citizens. We yell and scream at the younger generations, that they should be more respectful and such, and yet we forget that we, the older generations, neglected our duties as the younger were growing up. However, I am not here to lay blame or make excuses. I am here to help bring harmony to our communities and families. As such, being unreliable begets disharmony, and reliable people bring harmony to the table.

As an example,  when we regularly call in sick, (in those times when we know darn well we aren’t really sick), we portray our unreliability. The fact that we are not reliable can be seen like a big neon sign around our necks. Everyone soon discovers this about us, upon meeting us or hiring us. We cannot hide this character flaw for long. Once in this habit, it is difficult to break. I know this from personal experience. There were jobs I hated and there were plenty of times I believed what I had to do at home was more important. No matter what was going on at home, if it wasn’t a life-threatening emergency, then I had no business placing my priorities ahead of my boss’ priorities for my time. It is not about who is more important in the situation. When we accept employment, we make a commitment to be there and to do our assigned tasks. Yes, we are putting our boss and coworkers in a bind by not being there, but the bottom line is that we disgrace our own good name; our reputation suffers when we flake out by calling in sick all the time (or however else we show our unreliability). When we flake out at work, we also have a tendency to flake out in our relationships.

Friendships, relationships, intimacies, work, they all suffer when we are unreliable. If you do not believe it, just have an honest conversation with someone you spend a lot of time with, someone you can trust to be honest with you. Or, if you are in a self-punishment mood, ask your boss what he honestly thinks about your absenteeism.

You can ask what others think about you, you can even ask their advice on the subject, but no one can fix this issue for you. You must do the work for yourself, to reset your own bar above what people now expect from you (having lived with an unreliable you for some time now). I cannot tell you how to be more reliable. I can tell you that the most obvious way to be more reliable is to act reliably from here on out.

One thing that worked for me was taking every word out of my own mouth seriously. I made a vow a long time ago that I would not make promises, because promises have a tendency to be broken. Life has a habit of getting in the way of things. By not making idle promises, I know I won’t be what gets in my own way so often.

So many times, we jump to say yes to everything asked of us. Before our brains have even engaged on the subject, our mouths commit us to it. If you have an inability to say no, commit the following phrases to memory: “I need to check my schedule.” “I need to think about it.” “Can I give you my decision tomorrow.”

Those simple words will give you the time you need to make sure you can commit, or it can give you the time to decide if you really want to commit or not.

But sometimes our best option is to just learn how to say no. Work is work and has priority. If social or family requests are getting in the way, maybe its time to sit down your friends and relations and have a serious talk about your commitment to your employer and that being able to feed and house your family is more important than the drama being pushed in front of you. I’ll talk more about drama another day.

I must caution, however, that when it comes to accepting change in us, people can be gun shy. If they know us one way and one way only, they may have trouble believing we have changed. In this situation, it is best to just keep plugging along, doing the right thing, making better choices, demonstrating our new, reliable self, and eventually our relations and friends will see the new pattern emerging, and the more they see of it, the more they will be able to believe.

Remember that change takes time. Change is possible, and once it truly occurs, it is amazing, but it takes patience to get there. Hang in there.

My prayer for you today is that you can see more clearly the person you can be, and that your steps to become her/him is made easier by the love in your relationships.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy