Love at the Foot of the Cross

I said a while back that I would talk more about love. So here it is.

The perfect definition of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13, and it goes like this:

“Love is patient,

Love is kind.

It does not envy,

It does not boast,

It is not proud.

It does not dishonor others,

It is not self-seeking,

It is not easily angered,

It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil

But rejoices with the truth.

It always protects,

Always trusts,

Always hopes,

Always perseveres.

Love never fails.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Wow. What a list. Sometimes I think to myself, “How many of these characteristics of love do I exhibit to others? How do I measure up on the Jesus scale?”

I know that I am much more patient than I was in my younger years. But I still have a long ways to go. Besides, have you ever noticed that sometimes you are more patient with friends and acquaintances than you are with your own family members? I know I am. Patience has never been my strong suit, and my patience gets tested quite often and I fail more often than not with my  husband, especially now that we live in extremely close quarters. (We live in a 32 foot motorhome with our two dogs, Tinker Belle the Pug and Gracie the standard poodle puppy.)

I try to be as kind as possible, in my dealings with others. However, this, too, can be a struggling point when my mouth speaks before my brain thinks it through--especially when I am tired or in pain. I have to keep telling myself that unkind words will not help the situation, neither will my habit of “needing” to have the last word on a subject. The Holy Spirit has been working on me lately concerning fewer words being better.

“Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.”

Ecclesiastes 5:2

(Personal addendum, based on Psalm 139: Everything is uttered before God because he hears all and knows all, even before we speak it or do it.)

Envy. I have mostly conquered envy, but there are still times when I get jealous or covet something someone else owns.

And, yes, I do catch myself boasting from time to time, but I rationalize it, thinking that it might benefit so-and-so if they heard about my personal victory. It is not necessarily bad to tell about our victories, so long as we give the glory to God, because if He did not equip us and provide for us, we would not have the victories to boast about. Our victories come through His blessings.

“But, ‘Let the one who boasts boast in The Lord.’ for it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom The Lord commends.”

2 Corinthians 10:17-18

What exactly is pride? When I typed “define pride” into the Bing search engine, the second definition that it showed was “proper sense of own value.”

 Wow. So, according to the world (as pointed out by the above), we are supposed to be prideful? I understand that we should feel good about ourselves and that we need to have a sense of personal respect, but seriously? Pride is the proper sense of our own value? I think not, and I base my belief on the teachings of Jesus. Humility is what our personal value needs to be based on. Jesus washed people’s feet. He did not let His status as the king, as God incarnate, interfere with what He came to this earth to accomplish. To be a servant is more important than any other thing we might have to be prideful about. John 13 states it best.

“Jesus knew that The Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.”

John 13:3-5

Today’s world is so full of pride and arrogance, that the world tends to disparage those who do not conform to the worldly ways of “me-me-me” and winning no matter the cost, calling us “nonconformists” weak and stupid. The world idolizes movie stars and professional sports figures. No wonder they are so arrogant, being held to that level by their fans.

Alas, even with my disdain for pride, I occasionally fall prey to its evil draw. I am only human, after all.

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be lowly in spirit along with the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.”

Proverbs 16:18-19

How am I doing so far? It doesn’t look too promising for me to ever achieve God’s definition of love; however, God knows this about all of us humans.

My point in showing how I fail at some of these love traits is not to disparage myself. I show my faults to demonstrate that having faults in these areas is nothing to beat yourself up about. So long as we are working faithfully on our weaknesses, God will be pleased with us. God knows we are human and that as humans, we have a tendency to be self-centered and that we have a sinful nature.

God delights in us when we take our faults and our failures to Him. When we take our pride and our ego and we place them at the foot of the cross, He will help us bear our burdens and wipe away our shame.

He loves us that much.

My final words on love comes again from 1 Corinthians 13:

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

1 Corinthians 13:13

My prayer for you today is that you would know love in your life, the deep, abiding love only found in relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

In His grace,

Jennifer Joy

Guilt Complex, Gone

I should recognize by now that if I start having troubled sleep, if I start to falter in my Walk, if depression begins to come upon me, then God is once again working his magic in my soul. For my soul upheavals are not without reward.

And, oh, how sweet the rewards when God troubles my soul.

For several weeks, I tossed and turned, having bad dreams about false accusations. These dreams tormented not only my sleep, but also my waking hours, because I did not know why I kept having this recurrent theme. No one has troubled me with lies and false blame in almost a year now.

In my past, I have suffered many false accusations. I won’t go into too much detail, but a person very dear to me had the habit of throwing me under the bus when she was caught in a lie. We were very close (or so I wished), but no matter how desperately I wanted to share  my most intimate secrets with her, I simply could not trust her. I could not trust that she would keep my secrets, and I could not trust that she would not twist my truth into something grotesque and punishing.

From all her lies and from others believing her lies, I have suffered horribly from a guilt complex since childhood.

On top of that, I also have suffered from Lyme disease since childhood. No one believed I was sick. No one believed I was almost always in severe pain. I was accused of being a hypochondriac, once again spurred on by the lies spread by my dearest loved one.

Adding insult to injury, Lyme is a very real disease caught in the ugly political-ness of the CDC and insurance red tape. The CDC is influenced by insurance lobbyists, with their single goal being to save themselves money, even at the expense of the American public. This is a whole ball of wax I don’t wish to get into, for its negativity, but if you are interested in learning more, I would suggest checking out the video, “Under Our Skin.” As a result of the insurance industry’s political agenda, I and other Lyme sufferers have been accused of lying and of being hypochondriacs. I have had a whole slew of medical professionals deny my pain and my illness, for years.

There are plenty of other people and issues I could add to this list of false accusations, but I won’t. I’m not saying that I have never been guilty of things. I am not perfect. Far from it. I have sinned plenty, but the guilt complex came about because of unwarranted lies and accusations.

It is a myth that if we have a guilty conscience, then we must be guilty.

The truth is often that we have suffered blame at the hands of others once too often.

In my final dream on the subject, I found myself standing before a long line of my accusers. Some I recognized, of course, but some I did not, because they belonged to the CDC and insurance industry, and also among them were medical professionals I did not immediately recognize. Fear and terror seized my heart as I stood alone in front of them. Then all of a sudden, Jesus was beside me. I did not have to look to my right to know He was there. His presence and His voice were unmistakable.

He said, “Tell the first one to step forward.”

I reluctantly motioned for her to come.

Jesus said, “Ask her to say what she came to say.”

I reluctantly asked, as tears threatened to escape.

She said her lies, cast her blame.

Then Jesus said, “Now, tell her she is lying, tell her that you forgive her, and then send her on her way.”

I did as He asked. My heart felt a tiny bit better.

She went to the end of the line, so that she could once again come forward with more lies and blame when her turn came again.

We went through several more people in the line, with Jesus asking me to tell each of them the same thing. I was starting to feel better about myself. Eventually, He simply said, “Tell them what for,” as each one stepped up. “Go ahead,” He lovingly encouraged, as He motioned their way.

When I awoke, my guilt complex was completely gone. I was free. My temporary fight with depression was gone.

Now, before you jump all over me about vindication, let me state that what Jesus was asking me to do in my dream had nothing to do with vindication. I know vindication flies in the face of Jesus’ teaching about turning the other cheek. But I did not argue my truth. I did not lash out at my accusers. I was calm in dealing with each one because I had my Savior by my side. I felt no need to vindicate myself with Jesus there, holding my hand. He simply told me to tell them I knew they were lying, forgive them, and send them on their way.

Through this dream, God closed the book on my guilty conscience.

When I woke up, The Holy Spirit then led me to read the book of Ezra. Here is the biblical truth I learned about false accusations:

In a quick summary, King Cyrus allowed some of the exiles to return to Jerusalem to rebuild the house of God, to fulfill the prophesy spoken by Jeremiah (Ezra 1:1-3), and he also returned the temple articles that King Nebuchadnezzar had taken (Ezra 1:7). It didn’t take long for enemies of the exiles to frustrate their plans (Ezra 4:4-16). During the reign of subsequent kings, they continued making things difficult for the builders of the temple. They launched a specific complaint in a letter to Artaxerxes about how Jerusalem had always been a rebellious and wicked city (Ezra 4:12), and so Artaxerxes issued an order to stop work, so that the city would not be rebuilt (Ezra 4:21). During the reign of Darius, the Jews once again began building the temple, having the support and guidance of the prophets, and their enyy6emies once again tried to stir up trouble (Ezra 5:2-3). In response, the Jews stated in a letter to King Darius that they were working on the temple and the city by the decree of King Cyrus. Their letter is found in verses 5:11-17. At the end of the letter, they ask King Darius to do a thorough search of the archives, so that Darius may discover the truth for himself. This truth is verified and Darius’ response is found in verses 6:3-12. King Darius not only upheld the decree of his predecessor, but he also ordered that the accusers pay the expenses for rebuilding from the royal treasury and the revenues of Trans-Euphrates. The accusers had to give everything the Jews needed for the construction and also for the burnt offerings. King Darius furthermore decreed that anyone who continued to make trouble would be put to death.

Wow! What a turnaround. When questioned by their accusers, the elders calmly stated their case, and the truth prevailed because God saw their suffering, and He provided relief as only He can.

God sees our suffering. God knows our pain. God knows when we have been wrongly accused, just as He knew that the Jewish elders had been wrongly accused of building without permission. The elders did not seek to vindicate themselves. They did not seek retribution for years of being maligned and kept from their mission. All they wanted was to continue rebuilding the temple, as God had asked. Then, God provided the means necessary to finish the task without any further interference.

It is beautiful, the workings of Our Lord. He touched deep within my pain and healed yet another wound. He is so good to me.

My prayer for you today is that you may find healing for your inmost wounds.

In His grace,

Jennifer Joy

Down With The Flu

Oh, what a miserable month I had, while I was down with the bug.

It was a month full of misery, but a month where I did not lose my faith.

Though the devil tried to steal my joy over my recent healing, I would not give in to his lies.

Oh, what a beautiful thing Our Lord has given me.

His mercy touched my inmost wounds and He has healed me, body and soul.

I wrote a few months ago about our church laying hands on me and healing me from my severe pain and suffering. Well, shortly after my healing, I came down with the flu. As many of you may know, the flu has been especially bad again this year. Just about every rig that came through Cherry Valley during November and December had at least one person sick with the flu. From talking with locals and also with friends and family spread around the country, I ascertained that this particular strain of the flu seemed to follow a rather predictable timeline.

For me, it started with several days of sore and teary eyes and a runny nose. When my eyes started to feel better, the sinus congestion kicked into high gear. I went through several boxes of tissues as I sneezed my way through about two weeks of this phase alone. Then a few days of stomach pain, diarrhea, and fever were added to the sinus issues. When that went away, my congestion and runny nose also started to dissipate, which led me to believe that I was on the mend. Not so, because after a few days of gradual improvement, my eyes were acting up again and the congestion and runny nose and sneezing really kicked into high gear. This brought on a bad cough that after a few days, went away. Another week of sinus issues and I found myself truly on the rebound to better health again.

During this horrible month or so, while I was sick with the flu, the devil tried to convince me that I was having a Lyme flare-up. I cried and I prayed to God that it wasn’t so. I did firmly believe in my healing miracle, but I was weak and worn out from being sick.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

John 10:10

I kept talking to others who had had the flu recently. I kept telling myself that so-and-so had the same constellation of symptoms and for just as long a duration. Too many people were going through the same thing, and following the same pattern, for my symptoms to be something different than what they were suffering through.

That was the devil’s mistake—trying to use such a widespread seasonal illness to convince me I had not been divinely healed.

I stuck out my tongue at the enemy and continued to rely on God.

Once upon a time, I mistakenly thought that if my belief faltered even one iota, then I would lose the promises, the blessings, and the gifts God had given me. It was as if I were dreaming, and upon awakening, I found my hands empty because I could not hold onto the possessions of my dream.

Through the maturing of my faith, I have found that His blessings and promises are not fleeting. They are not dependent on me being perfect. If things were dependent on perfection, then I would never earn any of God’s gifts.

And that’s just it: We cannot earn a single thing, based on our own efforts or our own righteousness. We need Jesus to pay for our sins.

“’But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.’

‘If you can?’ said Jesus. ‘Everything is possible for one who believes.’

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, ‘I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!’”

Mark 9:23-24

The above verse shows how there can be a duality to our belief—an acceptable duality. Think of it this way: If you were to win the lottery, it would most likely take your brain a while to accept the truth of your sudden prosperity. Just because you may exclaim that it is too good to be true, or that you cannot believe it, it does not make it untrue.  If you took a dip in your pile of money, Uncle Scrooge McDuck style, then you might just realize your wealth because it is evident, right in front of you.

Similarly, the more you spend time with God and in His Word, the more your faith and belief will increase.

Although I used Uncle Scrooge and piles of money as an example, I do not condone such behavior, because when we act like Uncle Scrooge, we are worshiping money instead of worshiping God. Placing such a high value on the all mighty dollar and obsessing over our fortunes amounts to idolatry. There must be nothing higher than our faith in the true All Mighty.

My prayer for you today is for belief. I pray for your peace and your prosperity, as only God can provide.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

The Faithfulness of Ruth

I awoke this morning, knowing that I must write about Ruth. I will explain why later.

I have read, over and over, the account of Ruth, the daughter-in-law of Naomi. It is a beautiful account of one young woman’s faith in a God she did not grow up knowing, for she was a Moabitess, and the people of Moab worshipped false gods.

It overwhelms me that the Book of Ruth is even in The Bible. First, it tells of the life of a woman. There are only two biblical books specifically about women, the other being the Book of Esther. Few women are even mentioned in the genealogy studies by name, comparatively speaking, and many of the women in The Bible are simply referred to by their gender, (even though they were important enough to mention).

Even the woman who anointed Jesus with perfume before his crucifixion is only called “a woman” or “this woman,” while the man who owned the house in Bethany where the anointing took place was specifically named. Even though Jesus states that “what she has done will also be told, in memory of her,” she is still only referred to by her gender. Women simply did not hold much worth in biblical times. (This is a topic for another day, and I will not get into its significance/relevance now.) Specific women are mentioned usually only in accordance with their male relations. Wife of, mother of, sister of, etc.

“While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.” (Matthew 26:6-7)

“Aware of this, Jesus said to them, ‘Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. . . I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.’” (Matthew 26:10, 13)

Secondly, it strikes me because, in The Old Testament, there are many admonitions against marrying foreign women, mostly for fear of falling under the curse of worshipping false gods. Yet, here in The Old Testament, is a story about a foreign-born woman, and she comes to marry a very important man. (I use the word “story” hesitantly because “story” usually indicates a work of fiction, whereas I firmly believe the Bible contains only God-breathed historical accounts, and as such, is the truth. The only real truth in this fallen world.)

However, Ruth was an extraordinary young woman.

Even though her husband (Naomi’s son) had died and she had not bore him any sons, she clung to Naomi and vowed to return to Naomi’s homeland with her. In all customary rights in her country, she very well could have returned to her own parents’ home and taken another husband, as it indicates Orpah (the other sister-in-law) did. (See Ruth 1:8-14)

She was a very loyal daughter-in-law. Her actions showed selflessness. She had taken her husband’s God as her own. This is one biblical example where it shows honor in a woman, where she actually obeys her husband and his religion, instead of her influencing her husband away from The One True God. To me, this also says she was very intelligent and able to discern the truth from all the lies she had most likely heard while growing up (through the worship of her people’s false gods). In much of The Bible, women are depicted as conniving and deceptive, finding their power only in their feminine, deceptive ways.

“I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare.” (Ecclesiastes 7:26)

But Ruth was different. She was intelligent, as I mentioned. She recognized her standing as a foreigner, and she knew that she had no right to ask for favors when it came to following the harvesters in the barley fields of Naomi’s kinsman, Boaz. When she met Boaz, she humbled herself and told the truth, instead of trying to be deceptive or running away and hiding her shame of being, essentially, a beggar.

“At this she bowed down with her face to the ground. She exclaimed, ‘Why have I found favor in your eyes that you would notice me—a foreigner?’. . . ‘May I continue to find favor in your eyes, my lord,’ she said. ‘You have spoken kindly to your servant—though I do not have the standing of one of your servant girls.’” (Ruth 2:10, 13)

What happened next is even more amazing.

When I first studied Ruth, I did not understand why she would lie, like a dog, at the feet of Boaz. Was she showing submissiveness by keeping his feet warm? She was a noble woman. The Bible says as much. So the gesture was not an offer to pay back his kindness sexually. When Boaz discovered her at his feet, he kept her honor intact. She returned to Naomi before anyone could recognize her. (See Ruth, chapter 3) So, what then?

I studied the kinsmanship-redeemer obligations to find the answers.

It was indeed a noble thing she did. She had prepared herself as a bride and offered herself in marriage to Boaz, as per the kinsmanship-redeemer law that upheld the family obligation to help a dead brother (or nephew in this case) carry on his name. Knowing full well this law, Boaz knew exactly what her intentions were and that Naomi had put her up to it.

Naomi could have released Ruth to chase after younger men, but both women were known to be noble, and Ruth had vowed (in verses 1:16-17) to stay with Naomi until death, and therefore, I interpret the decision also as mature, most likely beyond her years. As such, she would not allow herself to be given to her own wanton desires and whims of lust. I imagine many young women of that day were much like the young women of today: Flighty, self-seeking, immature. I do not mean for this to demean young women; however, wisdom in relationships, as in any other area of life, comes with experience and age, i.e. maturity. And I myself have been an immature young woman, tempted by my own wanton flights of fancy.

This was the best option, not only for the family but also for Ruth. It was a win-win, and we all benefited from the integrity of that noble young woman, as I will show next.

From the union between Ruth and Boaz, Obed was born. Obed was the grandfather of David. Through King David’s lineage, we also find the greatest Man to ever walk the earth—Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior. (For a full listing of the genealogy of Jesus, please see Luke 3:23-38)

And this brings me to this morning, when I awoke sermonizing the Book of Ruth. This often happens to me, waking up spouting biblical truths. This happens usually in answer to my pleading prayers to Our Lord.

My prayers in the wee hours of this morning, after being unable to sleep most of the night, were rather pitiful. It was self pity, through and through.

“Lord,” I cried, “I study and I pray and I study and pray some more. I seek to know and do Your will. But how can I know for sure that I am doing the right things, the proper things You want, when I do not come from a strong Christian family?”

I cried out to Our Lord in self pity about my past. I will not go into detail, but I did not learn right from wrong early in life. I made mistake after mistake, not having a strong, supportive family to guide me. I have paid dearly for those mistakes I made. And I still make mistakes. I still sin, but then again, everyone sins in one way or another, and it is up to us to recognize when we have sinned and to ask for forgiveness when we do.

However, Our God is a faithful God. He answers my prayers. He hears my cries in the night and He gives me wisdom and blessings beyond what I deserve.

Like Ruth, I was “foreign” to the Way, the Truth, and the Life. I did not know Christ. I knew “of” Him in my childhood and I tried to please Him, but I did not know how. My sense of loyalty, honor, and respect had become skewed, distorted. I did not come to know Him until later in my years.

I read recently how once we give up a virtue (such as virginity) we can never get it back. We are marred, disfigured at that point, so it seemed to be saying to me. My self pity ran to how disfigured I  must be at this point in my life, having given my virginity before marriage, having broken trusts and lied habitually in my early years, having shop lifted, as well as other sins. “How ugly  must I be to You, God?” I cried.

His answer to me, through The Book of Ruth is thus: Even though I came from a questionable background, I am still beautiful in His sight for how I try to live my life now. Ruth’s sin was idolatry, as her parents most likely practiced. Even so, Ruth was given the noble position of being in the lineage of Jesus. Our God forgives our past mistakes. Our God overlooks our sins, if we repent and seek to live an honorable, God-honoring life.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:14)

Our God is an awesome God.

Maybe that’s why I love Him so.

My prayer for you today is twofold: May you know discernment in your own decision-making and may you know how wonderfully beautiful you are to Our Lord and Savior.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Joyous New Year

In my studies today, Our Lord kept pointing me in the same direction, to Isaiah 43 and 44. So, I will simply share these verses with you, in hopes that their promises bring you as much comfort as they have me. They are filled with hope for the future.

But now, this is what The Lord says--

he who created you, Jacob,

he who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am The Lord your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I give Egypt for your ransom,

Cush and Seba in your stead.

Since you are precious and honored in my sight,

and because I love you,

I will give people in exchange for you,

nations in exchange for your life.

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

I will bring your children from the east

and gather you from the west.

I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’

and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’

Bring my sons from afar

and my daughters from the ends of the earth--

everyone who is called by my name,

whom I created for my glory,

whom I formed and made.”

Isaiah 43:1-7

 

“I, even I, am The Lord,

and apart from me there is no savior.

I have revealed and saved and proclaimed--

I, and not some foreign god among you.

You are witnesses,”

declares The Lord,

“that I am God.

Yes, and from ancient days I am he.

No one can deliver out of my hand.

When I act, who can reverse it?”

Isaiah 43:12-13

 

“Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:18-19

“I, even I, am he who blots out

your transgressions,

for my own sake,

and remembers your sins no more.”

Isaiah 43:25

This is what The Lord says--

he who made you,

who formed you in the womb,

and who will help you:

“Do not be afraid,

For I will pour water on the thirsty land,

and streams on the dry ground;

I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,

and my blessing on your descendants.

They will spring up like grass in a meadow,

like poplar tress by flowing streams.”

Isaiah 44:2, 3-4

Thank you all for joining me once again, in this, the beginning of a new year.

My prayer for you today is for blessings in this new and glorious year of Our Lord, 2014.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Drama-Free Zone

I’ve been hearing people around me say that they are tired of all the drama, and I’m not just talking about teens. I’m talking about women (and even men) old enough to know better, than to continue the drama cycle.

I see them repeatedly inviting drama into their lives, with the decisions they make.

Everything is a choice. Everything in our lives stems from decisions we have made. However, unless we actually pay attention to what we are doing, we will not see that we have made poor choices.

It is my firm belief that, if we truly want a drama-free life, then we need to make the pledge to live in a truly drama-free zone.

How do we do this?

There’s biblical principals that can guide us in making the right decisions, but before I list key verses, I would like to give a list of do’s and don’ts.

1. First, stop the lying. When we lie, we have not only the truth to keep track of (which is easy to do) but also the lies. Lying gets us all twisted, and then we cannot remember who we told what to, and then all hell breaks loose when we make a mistake and say the wrong thing to someone we have been lying to, or when the truth gets back to them through someone else. We can  lose our most important relationships through lying. Plus, we teach people not to trust us, when we lie.
2. Stop gossip in its tracks. Sure, it can be enticing, listening to all the juicy bits of someone else’s life, and it can be even more enticing to pass what we hear along to others, but when we participate in gossip, we kill our relationships. It is one thing to pass along details we have permission (directly from the person) to pass along, but it is another thing entirely to say things behind their back. As an example, if a friend made it public that she is pregnant, and she is full of joy about the pregnancy and doesn’t care if the world knows, then it is okay to share in her joy and pass it along. It is entirely a separate matter if her pregnancy was unplanned or the result of an affair and she is fretting over all the changes it brings into her life, and she told you in confidence because she trusted you. Basically, before you open your mouth, think, “Does what I am about to say hurt or help the person and his/her situation?” If it hurts, keep your mouth shut. If you are unsure, keep your mouth shut. It is better to err on the side of caution.
3. Stop reading tabloids. Tabloids gossip about celebrities. When we read tabloids, including the supposedly higher class gossip magazines, then we contribute to perpetuating the cycle of gossip. Gossip hurts, even if it is about celebs. When we buy and read these magazines (or watch such shows) then we are telling society that it is okay to spread rumors and gossip.
4. Be true to yourself and others. When we act one way in front of this person and another way in front of that person, then we are two-faced. If what you are doing is not acceptable in front of everyone, then stop it. Any behavior can be changed if you really want change in your life.
5. Know who you can trust before opening up. If the person is a known gossiper or liar, then don’t share important things with them. Some people can take even the most innocent of comments and twist them until they become hurtful. With these people, it is usually best to not say anything beyond the weather forecast.
6. Become trustworthy. Make every effort to be the type of friend they need you to be, to be the type of person you would want as a friend. Adding to the drama isn’t worth the price of losing valuable relationships.
7. Avoid drama. It may not be polite to walk away from a conversation, but sometimes that’s what needs to be done. I’ve had to walk away from conversations, when my acquaintances did not get the message that I did not care to hear about so-and-so’s troubles. Sometimes walking away is the only thing that makes them understand you are serious about remaining gossip and drama free. Don’t make excuses or debate the issue; just walk away.
8. It is unfortunate, but sometimes relationships must be ended if you have tried everything to make them understand and the other person still does not accept your unwillingness to participate in the drama. Have confidence that there are better relationships out there waiting for you.
9. And finally, forgive. Forgive others their mistakes and how they have hurt you. Own up to your own mistakes by asking forgiveness of those you have wronged. Forgive yourself for those mistakes you have made. And ask God’s forgiveness. His forgiveness will bring wondrous blessings and peace to your life.
   

And now to the key verses. As I’ve said before, memorizing Bible verses can and will help improve your life. Write them out on Post-its or 3 x 5 cards and display them where you can read them throughout the day.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12

“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.” Proverbs 11:3

“Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” Proverbs 11:12-13

“Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.” Proverbs 26:20

“ The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others; who despises a vile person but honors those who fear The Lord; who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind; who lends money to the poor without interest; who does not accept a bribe against the innocent. Whoever does these things will never be shaken.” Psalm 15:2-5

“Cast your cares on The Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalm 55:22

“Then he adds: ‘Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.’” Hebrews 10:17

My prayer for you today is that you may find the peace that is only found in knowing Christ.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

 

Personal Best: Part Four: Well Grounded

This is the final in the series on raising the bar. As I mentioned in the first post, I believe that if we can achieve one, then the other three will follow. This is the one that I believe is the key. Being properly grounded makes everything else easier in life.

But what do I mean by being grounded? Many people talk about having their head in the clouds, or being flighty. These are the opposite of being grounded.

To be grounded means that we have a solid foundation to stand on. It means that we are focused and present in the now (not ten minutes from now and not two weeks from now). Our minds are not racing ahead to fantastical what-ifs. We are calm.

When we are not grounded, everything can become unraveled easily because we tend to be overly emotional. We get upset or angry for unworthy reasons. We get frustrated when things don’t go as we expect, often because our expectations are not based in reality.

So, how can we get grounded? For a quick situational fix, the easiest thing to do is breathe. Concentrate on your breath and let it bring you back to the present. This is not only for the negative events in our lives, but also for those events that are too stimulating to take in all at once. If you find you are getting too excited (about anything, get your mind out of the gutter, although that’s a good reason, as well) and you subsequently find your mind racing, then breathe. Deep breaths. In and out. Until the excitement is under control.

When emotions are allowed to run rampant (as in our over-excitement), we make decisions that we later regret. We react instead of act. What I mean by this is that actions are premeditated. We have spent time in making the decision to do the action. Whereas, reactions are spontaneous. We don’t think. We let the circumstances or the emotions or someone else make decisions for us. And this is not good.

So breathe.

And then when you are calmer, while you are still breathing, think.

Where can we find a solid foundation to stand on? We can find this by exerting wiser choices in who we choose to be in relationship with. This is a good starting point, but the most important relationship, the only one that can truly be our rock to stand on, is Jesus.

When we give ourselves over to Jesus, and we follow His teachings, then we have our solid foundation. If all our decisions are based on biblical truths, then we can be sure we are making good, wholesome, honorable decisions in our lives.

I hear you when you say that The Bible was written several millennia ago. You think its outdated. I understand your concerns. However, when we are in relationship with Jesus, and we have the Holy Spirit whispering truths in our ears, we begin to understand. We begin to see how The Bible is still relevant today. Trust me. Or better yet, trust God’s Word. If you earnestly endeavor to find life’s answers in The Bible, a whole new world will be opened up to you. It is as simple as saying a prayer and opening the book. If you are not sure where to start, the Psalms is always a good choice, and it can be found right in the middle of The Bible. The Book of John is another great choice. Galatians is my personal favorite. It teaches me that grace is based on faith and not on our silly human strivings. Through faith, I am a new creation. I don’t have to jump through any hoops or prove anything to anybody. God knows my heart, and so He reads my heart directly. Without striving constantly to prove my worthiness, an unspeakable joy fills me as I go about my daily chores. Since I don’t have to prove myself anymore, I eagerly work for His Kingdom, to share this wondrous joy with others and give them hope for their own joy, found only in the unconditional love of Our Savior.

So that is my prayer for you today, that you might be open to receiving the Joy of Christ.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Be True

We just completed a week in exile, as I have chosen to call our recent adventure into dry camping. Luckily I had the foresight to set up over a weeks’ worth of posts ahead of time, so this is actually the first post I have written since before Thanksgiving.

Dry camping, or boon docking, is when you have all the luxuries of home in your motorhome or trailer, yet you have no power, water, or sewer hookups; therefore, most of your “luxuries” are rendered useless, unless you have the added luxury of solar panels and a large bank of batteries, which we do not. We had plenty of propane to heat and cook with, but we had to ration water, not having a ready supply at our fingertips. We also did not have adequate lighting, as sunset is quite early this time of year, and our house batteries aren’t what they used to be. Needless to say, we spent most evenings by candlelight.

I had hoped that exile would be a growing experience for me. I had hoped that God would use that special time, disconnected from the rest of the world, to teach me something important.

Instead, I spent most of the dark hours grousing because I did not have adequate light and I could not use my computer. I could not even read without my eyes hurting. So I grumbled through most of the week, and I teetered on the edge of anger because I could not do the things I wanted to do. Writing by candlelight is not any easier than reading by candlelight, and crocheting a new pattern is all but impossible in the dark. I kept making mistakes and I had to tear out my stitches more than once, before giving up. There wasn’t much we could do while in exile.

My self-inflicted problems were many last week, as I did not learn what exile (in The Bible) teaches. I not only complained during the night, but I also spent my daylight hours complaining about the darkness. It knocked on my door all too soon, every afternoon, and I dreaded its inevitable approach. I let this negativity eat away at me. By fearing and fretting, I allowed the darkness to steal my joy. So my exile did not turn out how I had hoped, but maybe I did learn something after all.

Biblically speaking, God would send His people into exile when they were sinning to extremes and needed a wakeup call. Moses led the Israelites through the desert for forty years, in exile, because the Israelites were so thick-skulled that they could not help but keep sinning, every time their leader, Moses, turned his back for just a moment. Even in Solomon’s day, God was still using exile as a teaching method.

“But if you or your sons turn away from me and do not observe the commands and decrees I have given you and go off to serve other gods and worship them, then I will cut off Israel from the land I have given them and reject this temple I have consecrated for my Name.” 1 Kings 9:6-7

God does not hold the reigns too tightly. He allows us our free will. However, sometimes our antics could cause real damage, and it is at those times when the Holy Spirit whispers softly to us. Just as my husband rescued Gracie from an imminent broken leg, Our Savior can rescue us. All he asks is that we come to Him and ask for His help.

Maybe what I learned is that we must simply let go, of all the little things as well as the big things. I took my exile and saw only the negatives, when I should have been looking for the joy in having a week to spend with my husband, my dogs, and ultimately with my God. Lately,  I’ve gotten rather skilled at turning over one big thing after another to God, allowing Him to take the reigns of my larger problems, but sometimes I forget that I must also turn over every little thing, if I expect to keep my joy. The correct path to follow would have been to use my week in exile to its fullest potential. If I could not see to read The Bible, then I should have at least been praying for enlightenment of my heart and soul.

Maybe what I learned is also that I am who I am, and I have to be true to myself, if I am going to be true to God. I’m no better than the thick-skulled Israelites because I could not see past my own frustrations, to what He was trying to teach me, anymore than they could all those millennia ago. I may backslide into anger or bad habits once in a while, but I cannot hide who I truly am inside.

Just as Gracie could not stop herself from having so much fun in the loose dirt, despite how dirty she became in the process, I cannot help being human, and as such, I cannot help making mistakes.

I can mask myself with primping and crooning, but I am still a sinner underneath. I still get angry. I still allow my anger to get the better of me. I still allow my frustration to fester into melancholia.

And I will always need my Savior to rescue me, time and again.

What I am trying to say is that kids will be kids, dogs will be dogs, and we will all show our humanness, like it or not. No matter how hard I strive to put my past behind me, sometimes I find myself once again in the thick of it.

It is at that precise moment, when I feel the weight of my dirt and my sins upon me, when I must make the conscious decision to ask forgiveness and to let the dust settle again, so that I can humbly get back on track. Back to my relationship with God.

No, we did not punish Gracie for being herself. We enjoyed her antics immensely. She is only a dog and does not care whether she gets dirty or not. She does not know that a bright, shiny white coat is preferable to a dingy, dirty coat.

Likewise, it does not matter how dirty I get in the process of my sinning, Jesus will always welcome me back with open arms. His blood will wash the dirt from my snowy white garments (made snowy white in the first place only by His loving sacrifice), and He will gently lead me to a more fulfilling path.

That’s why Our Savior came—to rescue us and protect us from ourselves, as well as from the devil.

Our humanness will trip us more often than not, if we allow it, and Our Savior will pick us back up every time, if we only ask.

My prayer for you today is that you might recognize your humanness as a good thing. We were made in the image of God, yet we were given free will because He loved us enough to let us be unique.

In His grace,

Jennifer Joy

DAY THIRTEEN: The Biblical Significance of Sixteen Days

Today is day thirteen of The 16 Days Campaign, and I would like to share the biblical significance of the number 16 and, specifically, 16 days.

I do not find this topic mentioned anywhere else, that I have seen in the 16 Day Campaign, and being a follower of Christ, I believed it important that someone shares how powerful the number 16 is, and specifically how 16 short days can change the world.

There are 16 qualities of Love, according to 1 Corinthians 13

• Love is patient
• Love is kind
• Love does not envy
• Love does not boast
• Love is not proud
• Love does not dishonor others
• Love is not self seeking
• Love is not easily angered
• Love keeps no record of wrongs
• Love does not delight in evil
• Love rejoices with the truth
• Love always protects
• Love always trusts
• Love always hopes
• Love always perseveres
• Love never fails

Some sources say that the number 16 literally means love in The Bible. (God Counts, W. E. Filmer http://www.asis.com/users/stag/godcount.html)

There were sixteen prophets in the Old Testament and sixteen apostles and evangelists in the New Testament.

King Ahaz reigned sixteen years in Jerusalem (2 Kings 16:2, 2 Chronicles 28:24). He was by far the worst idol-worshiping King to have reigned in those days. And yet, his son, Hezekiah, rebuilt the Temple of God and restored hope and faith in his kingdom in the first month of his reign. It only took sixteen days to restore the temple (2 Chronicles 29:15-17).

What took 16 years for his father to destroy, this God-empowered King Hezekiah restored in only 16 days.

God is so powerful. He can accomplish anything, including restoring our families and communities to health.

My prayer for you today is that you have the faith to know it is possible, that domestic violence can be eradicated from our homes, our communities, and from our world.

In His Holy Grace,

Jennifer Joy

DAY TEN: New Relationships

Today is day ten of The 16 Days Campaign to end domestic abuse and violence against women. Having past the halfway mark, I would like to offer a day of hope for survivors. Today I will present lists of early warning signs and red flags and also steps women can take to guard against abuse in new relationships.

Having gotten out of an abusive relationship is mighty reason to celebrate. Congratulations on your success, if you are a survivor. These lists will help you determine whether a new interest is worthy of your love. However, they are only lists of red flags and not written in stone. As such, use your God-given intuition to guide you in choosing your next partner more so than lists. They are meant as guidelines because as you yourself are healing, you will recognize that others also have the ability to change and improve. Their past does not necessarily predict their future, as I’ve been trying to show you that your past does not have to predict your future, either.

You are a strong, beautiful person and deserve to be in a strong, beautiful relationship. In the beginning, set aside those lustful “new romance” type feelings so that you can really get to know the other person. Please do not hop from relationship to relationship, from bed to bed, as this does not help the situation. I do not say this from a Christian perspective so much as from someone who has been there and done that. This is a plea to let the new relationship grow before adding sex into the mix; for sex confuses the issue, especially if a child results from the encounter.

Red Flags

• Alcohol or drug use
• Record of getting into fights or destroying property
• Chronically unemployed and not seeking work
• Speaks disrespectfully to other women in your presence, especially his mother or sisters
• Name calling, put downs, or vulgar comments about you or others
• Physically rough with you or with animals
• Anger issues
• Plays the blame game frequently
• Starts to control where you go and who you can see
• Forces sexual intimacy when you are not ready or do not want it
• Cheats or has multiple partners, lengthy list of “conquests”
• Takes advantage of your good nature
• Takes money or other belongings from you and sees it as a right to do so
• Unwarranted accusations of flirting or cheating
• Does not pay attention to your interests, opinions, or feelings
• Things always have to be his way
• Silent treatment
• Lies
• Stands you up for dates or other obligations
• Disappears for days at a time without appropriate reason
• Expects you to dress and act a certain way, doesn’t let you be you
• Threatens suicide if you attempt to break up
• Says he cannot live without you
• Mood swings
• Compares you to former partners

 

Some questions to ask yourself about the relationship

• Do you feel tied down?
• Do you feel like you have to check in or get his permission?
• Are you afraid to speak your own mind or bring up certain subjects?
• Do you believe you are difficult to love?
• Do you believe if you could just love him enough, everything would be okay?
• Do you cry often?
• Are you depressed or generally unhappy in this relationship?
• Do you worry about how to please him or how to keep him happy?

These lists are adapted from the Domestic Abuse Project (http://www.domesticabuseproject.org)

Even with all the red flags and warnings, the bottom line is that if we want better in our relationships, it has to start with getting better ourselves. If you cannot afford counseling or you cannot spare the time for a support group, I highly recommend reading self-help books. Become a voracious reader in your spare time, instead of watching television. If you take public transportation, read on the way to work. Read during your lunch break. Read while waiting for the doctor or other appointments.

A word of caution, however, not all self-help books are created equal. If one does not resonate with you, set it aside and start another one. I have often found that the ones I have cast aside, later become great allies. Or they end up in the goodwill box.

Her is a short list of books I have found helpful over the years:

• The Bible — find an easy-to-read version especially if this is new for you. The King James Version is not the best place to start. I heard of but have not yet read The Voice Bible, which is written in novel format and is said to be very easy to read.
• Who Moved My Cheese? By Spence Johnson and Kenneth Blanchard — A quick read but very helpful in dealing with change in your life.
• Broken body, Wounded Spirit, by Celeste Cooper — A devotional for chronic pain sufferers, but it has an interesting perspective for all of life’s challenges.
• Messy, by A.J Swoboda — Finding beauty, meaning, purpose, and joy in a messy life.
• Sifted: God’s Scandalous Response to Satan’s Outrageous Demand, by Rick Lawrence — Excellent biblical perspective on why we go through such trying times.
  Two Scoops of Grace with Chuckles on Top, by Jeanette Levellie —Humorous reminders of God’s handiwork in our lives.
• Calm My Anxious Heart, by Linda Dillow — A woman’s guide to finding contentment.
• Love Must Be Tough, by Dr. James Dobson — Straightforward advice for building relationships.
• Boundaries, by John Townsend and Henry Cloud — Setting healthy boundaries in your relationships. In fact, I would recommend any of the books by these two authors. They have helped me tremendously in sorting through my past and my relationship issues.
• Living, Loving, and Learning, by Leo Buscaglia —I would also recommend any and all of his books. He was the first author who really resonated with my soul and began to teach me about love, while I was still in an abusive relationship years ago.

This is just a short list of my favorite self-help reads.

My prayer for you today is that you could hear that special message that will reach deep inside to unlock your full potential.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

DAY SEVEN: The Culture of Fear

Today we are ending the first full week of the 16 Days Campaign. Has it been a struggle getting through all this, so far? Have you feared what other shoe might drop in your own life?

“There is no fear in love.” 1 John 4:18

Did you know that the opposite of love is not hate?

The opposite of love is fear.

All that I have presented up to this point in The 16 Days Campaign, aside from my day of thanks, reflects a sense of fear in the lives of the victims and children involved in domestic abuse and violence.

Rather than speak directly about the fear, today let’s take a different tact and speak about the love which is available to all of us, and also a bit of my personal testimony about love conquering fear.

The first love I want to talk about is the love that gets us into the most trouble. It is eros love. This love is more in the sense of being in love, as opposed to sexual desire; although, sexual desire is part of eros love. This love is more concerned with what we can get out of the relationship, true, but at the same time, it promotes the desire to submit ourselves to another, the one we love. This is romantic love, if viewed in its purest sense. While being a very profound experience, it can lead to evil (such as sexual addiction, violence, and pornography) as well as leading to a fully satisfying marriage relationship.

As such, we must take care to keep our eros love pure, respectful, and self-sacrificing rather than self-serving. This is not to say we should submit ourselves to abuse, however; for we must maintain love and respect for ourselves as well as for our partner.

The second is philia love. This is basically a brotherly love, friendship at its deepest sense. It is love between friends and represents one of the strongest bonds between people. According to C.S. Lewis, it is a love that is freely chosen but not necessary for the survival of the species.

And then there is the greatest of loves, agape love, which is a deep caring or godly love for someone even if you do not know them well or approve of their behaviors. This is the God level of love. This is unconditional love. Although it is at the God level, people can and do reach this level all the time. If you can show compassion for your enemy, then you are demonstrating agape love. Moreover, if you can put your differences aside and work on a solution together, amicably rather than fighting incessantly, this too is agape love, because you are putting the needs of the other, the needs of the whole, and the search for an honorable solution before your own needs. Setting your own comfort aside to help another is agape love, and it is a very good and honorable thing to do.

I have not always managed to attain this level of love in my relationships, and I have asked Our Lord’s forgiveness in this matter. My past was so shattered that for a long time, I did not even consider myself worthy of love, let alone worthy of agape love from another human being, and so those who had hurt me in the past, I allowed to continue to hurt me by not setting our differences aside and working on an honorable solution. Please don’t take this to mean that I did not care for the ones who were hurting me. I loved them very deeply and I tried to be in relationship with them, but every day my heart was being broken repeatedly by their deeds and their words spoken to me and against me. I eventually had to make the heartbreaking decision that it was best for my own health to pull back. Because I was seriously ill at the time, I was being told by my doctor, my husband, and others who truly cared about me, that I needed to get the stress out of my life if I ever wanted to heal. Otherwise, they warned, I was on the brink of being hospitalized because I kept getting sicker instead of better, despite valiant efforts where my medical treatment was concerned.

Because of the grave state my own health was in, I allowed my anxiety to reign, and I grew to fear any contact with the people who were hurting me and spreading lies about me. I lost out on working toward closeness and closure with a very dear loved one because he passed away without ever acknowledging the depth of my pain and illness and also the extent of my heartbreak from what he was saying to me and about me. He died without ever really knowing who I am, without him ever putting an end to the lies and hurtful words he was saying. I did not know how to make him stop, even though I tried my best to stay in relationship and to make him understand how much I loved him despite me being unable to physically be there for him (because of the severe extent of my own illness); but when I pulled away from the relationship, it seemed to only antagonize him further into more hurtful words.

This person was an alcoholic. Alcoholism is one of my challenges in relationship. It can tear a family apart, and because of my family history, I have never been able to deal well with an active (or dry) alcoholic. I am not nor have I ever been an alcoholic, but I have been surrounded by alcoholism my entire life, and the culture of fear I grew up in colored so many of my decisions, throughout my entire life. I feared becoming addicted to alcohol and so I have been very careful not to fall into that trap, but more devastating was my fear of becoming addicted to pain pills because of my familial connection to addiction. Because of this fear, I suffered needlessly in pain, crying every night in severe pain, because I did not want to become addicted. I was denying myself comfort; I was denying myself the self love that could have soothed so many of my fears. I did not love myself enough to accept that I deserved to be pain-free just as much as the next person. I also did not trust in Our Lord enough to know that His love could help me out of this cycle of fear and ultimately keep me from addiction.

I did fall into addiction for a short time. This is difficult for me to admit. Before my healing took place, my pain was so severe, I could not stand it anymore. I finally asked my doctor to prescribe something a few months before we left on our mission. Then I turned to these drugs to soothe not only my physical pain but also my emotional pain. It became a vicious cycle, where I would cry myself to sleep because no matter how much morphine or Vicodin I took, the pain never left my body, and I would wake up a few hours later with my whole body shaking because I was in so much pain. It had been years since I had a good night’s sleep, and even though I now had the drugs to combat the pain, my body was so devastated, so ravaged by the illness and unrelenting pain for so many years, that no amount of drugs was going to soothe it.

I finally got to the point that I prayed for deliverance, for an end to it all. If God wasn’t going to give me divine healing, then I wanted to be dead because I could not take any more pain. I stopped taking all my meds, even those for the Lyme disease and adrenal insufficiency and my myriad of other issues, and I fasted for two days, trusting that God would deliver me one way or the other.

I continued to trust day-by-day for a week, setting aside my fears that the pain would never end. I had to let go of the fear that was keeping me in bondage to my pain. Then we enlisted the help of a very mighty prayer team, when my husband asked if our pastor at our new church here in Beaumont could pray healing over me.

It was amazing. I was released. From the illness. From the fear. From the worst of my pain.

I still have pain, but it is not like it used to be. I am old and I am fat and it is winter. Those are three strikes against me at this point. It will take time to get my body back into shape, but I am continuing to trust in Our Lord, and my fear of the pain is gone.

Even though I was raised in an dysfunctional alcoholic home and grew to fear just about everything and I grew up not feeling loved or even wanted, God set me free from all that.

My prayer for you today is that you would ask God to heal you of your deep-set fears.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Becoming Fearless

The other day as I was working in the clubhouse at the RV park, a man carrying one of those newer small computers walked in. He was wandering around the room and clicking on his keyboard at the same time.

When he approached me, I stopped working to give him my full attention. I have learned that when a stranger walks into my life, sits down, and starts talking, they usually have something important to tell me. This was not one of those times, however.

“I bet that mirror behind you is a two-way,” the stranger said.

Starting to get unnerved, I instinctively pulled my blouse closer around my neck. It was not that I was indecently exposed or anything, I just had a creepy feeling wash over me.

The stranger said, upon closer examination, “Well, maybe not.”

But the damage was already done. Anxiety and paranoia were taking up residence in my being.

He walked away and then returned, still tapping on his computer. He was looking for the resort’s wireless connection, and he could not find it on his list of available wireless network connections; although, he wasn’t even  sure what it was called. I told him that I do not use the resort’s internet because I have my own wifi hotspot, through my phone.

He walked around some more, then approached again. “Maybe it is one of those you have to pay for,” he said.

“Maybe,” I replied, “but even if you do have to pay, you should still be able to see it on your list.” My anxiety was starting to dissipate.

“Are you Jen?” he asked.

That creepy feeling returned in full force. “Yes,” I answered, trying to not let my anxiety show. He was picking up my wifi signal.

After he walked away again, I quickly searched my heart for that scripture verse that has gotten me through so much anxiety and fear in the past. Finally it jumped to my mind, calming me before my “old friend” panic came at me full force. Thanks be to God, yet again, for rescuing me, for there is power in The Word.

Memorizing a few key verses here and there have really helped me overcome so much trouble in my life. Though I may not always remember the location, the verses themselves regularly surface to breathe their truth into my life. I often post these verses, which I am trying to commit to heart, on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror. Then I can read them or at least be reminded of their truths every time I pass by.

“The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1

Another gem in times of trouble can be found at the end of Psalm 27. Thus the beginning and the end of this Song of King David offer me hope, and these verses bookend a powerfully beautiful message of faith in troubled times.

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of The Lord in the land of the living. Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for The Lord.” Psalm 27:13-14

My prayer for you today is that the troubles of this world will not overtake you and that you may find peace in The Word, The Bible.

In His grace,

Jennifer Joy

Ouch!

I had another dream. God seems to talk to me through my dreams, and when I awake, oftentimes confused or frustrated by my dream, He patiently takes the time to try to explain it to me, usually through scripture. For The Bible is a living thing. If we listen, we can hear The Word breathe truth into our lives.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” John 1:1

In my dream the other night, I had a horrible toothache. My molar was aching terribly. Then The Lord touched my tooth, and the pain was instantly gone. I awoke confused, as usual. And as usual, I have learned to ask God for clarification. Still in a half sleep state, He spoke directly to me this time, instead of through scripture. He said that my toothache represented an unresolved sin in my life. He asked me if I knew which sin might be causing me such grief, for the mouth is the conduit through which our heart speaks. I acknowledged my sin, and when He touched my tooth, the pain disappeared, and I was forgiven.

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” Luke 6:45

The sin I acknowledged was that I have been ridiculing myself for years for being a horrible parent. I have been holding that sin, that pain in my heart because of my past depression and because I was never really there for my children, especially my daughter when she needed me most, because of my depression.

Our Benevolent Father forgave me of that sin and has given me the blessing of having my daughter in my life once again.

I thought I had lost her, because though I tried, I could not keep her in my life, and she ran away from everyone and everything she knew when she was twenty-three.

Now we are two years later, and our relationship has blossomed into something so beautiful. It took me coming all the way to Beaumont to find her and to start fresh. (To clarify, I found out she was in Beaumont after six months of not knowing anything, but I did not know how much her life had changed for the good.)

After she came to Beaumont, The Lord must have moved mountains in her life, for she is now an entirely different person than she was in Vancouver, Washington. I can see a light shining in her as never before, and I am humbly grateful for having been given this gift I felt I did not deserve.

My prayer for you today is that you can find peace about your past sins, especially where your most important relationships are concerned.

In His Loving Embrace,

Jennifer Joy