Friendship, Love, and Loyalty

What is friendship, truly? Is it only a relationship, through which we can get our own personal needs met?

Surely, it is not.

Friendship is a deep and lasting bond. Friendship is a gift we can treasure the rest of our lives. The bond between friends is one of the strongest on earth.

Friendship oftentimes is stronger than blood relationships. It is unfortunate but true. We cannot choose our birth family, but God has chosen our parents and siblings for us for a reason. Life is a learning experience from the day we are born to the day we die, and God has given our specific families to us so that we can learn the lessons He has intended for us.

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

King Saul’s initial feelings for David show how deceptive relationships can be and also how fleeting. It shows how we cannot always trust a person’s words, their confession of love for us. All too often, words are as empty as the air used to breathe them into existence.

“Saul liked him very much, and David became one of his armor-bearers.” 1 Samuel 16:21

“And from that time on Saul kept a close eye on David. . . Saul had a spear in his hand and he hurled it, saying to himself, ‘I’ll pin David to the wall.’ But David eluded him twice. Saul was afraid of David, because The Lord was with David but had departed from Saul.” 1 Samuel 18:9, 10-11

“Saul’s plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines.” 1 Samuel 18:25

“Saul became still more afraid of him, and he remained his enemy the rest of his days.” 1 Samuel 18:29

Yet true loyalty in friendship can be found, as in the relationship between David and King Saul’s son, Jonathan.

“Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.” 1 Samuel 18:1

By all human rights, Jonathan should have succeeded his father as king, yet by God’s anointing through the prophet Samuel (1 Samuel 16), David was to be Saul’s successor. Through normal human jealousy, Jonathan should have cursed the day David was born. Through that time’s acceptable loyalty to his father, Jonathan should have set out to kill David, just as his father tried to do. Even now, people tend to choose family over outsiders, as a sign of family loyalty, and it is good and honorable to do so in most cases. However, Jonathan followed the Word of God, rather than the bitterness of his own father’s jealousy and rage against David, when he chose to support and protect the rightful heir to the throne (David) from his father.

“While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. ‘Don’t be afraid,’ he said. ‘My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.’” 1 Samuel 23:15-17

Jonathan was unable to follow his father’s example because his father chose to follow his own jealousy, fear, and rage. Jonathan chose a better path. He chose to listen to God and to honor his bond of friendship, even though this, in a way, dishonored his father.

Sometimes we must make these choices, if our own family does not set a good example.

What, then, is love?

God is love. (1 John 4:16)

Love is manifest in peace, mercy, grace, respect, trust, compassion, sincerity, forgiveness, and other noble pursuits.

There is no fear in love. (1 John 4:18)

Love is not found in scheming, lying, cheating, anger, jealousy, violence, insults, hatred, and the like.

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:9-10

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Matthew 7:12

I will come back to speak more about love another day.

So in the meantime . . .

My prayer for you today is that you might know the depth and the beauty and the trueness of God’s love.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Joyous New Year

In my studies today, Our Lord kept pointing me in the same direction, to Isaiah 43 and 44. So, I will simply share these verses with you, in hopes that their promises bring you as much comfort as they have me. They are filled with hope for the future.

But now, this is what The Lord says--

he who created you, Jacob,

he who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am The Lord your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I give Egypt for your ransom,

Cush and Seba in your stead.

Since you are precious and honored in my sight,

and because I love you,

I will give people in exchange for you,

nations in exchange for your life.

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

I will bring your children from the east

and gather you from the west.

I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’

and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’

Bring my sons from afar

and my daughters from the ends of the earth--

everyone who is called by my name,

whom I created for my glory,

whom I formed and made.”

Isaiah 43:1-7

 

“I, even I, am The Lord,

and apart from me there is no savior.

I have revealed and saved and proclaimed--

I, and not some foreign god among you.

You are witnesses,”

declares The Lord,

“that I am God.

Yes, and from ancient days I am he.

No one can deliver out of my hand.

When I act, who can reverse it?”

Isaiah 43:12-13

 

“Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:18-19

“I, even I, am he who blots out

your transgressions,

for my own sake,

and remembers your sins no more.”

Isaiah 43:25

This is what The Lord says--

he who made you,

who formed you in the womb,

and who will help you:

“Do not be afraid,

For I will pour water on the thirsty land,

and streams on the dry ground;

I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,

and my blessing on your descendants.

They will spring up like grass in a meadow,

like poplar tress by flowing streams.”

Isaiah 44:2, 3-4

Thank you all for joining me once again, in this, the beginning of a new year.

My prayer for you today is for blessings in this new and glorious year of Our Lord, 2014.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

2013 In Review

This has been an amazing year, full of ups and downs. We finally got on the road, after three long years of trying to start living the RV lifestyle. (Read about our struggles over the past three years here.) Then, once we got started on the road, God changed our game plan (big time), thus the birth of this new blog.

This past year has held some of the worst physical pain I have ever experienced, but God was faithful to heal me physically a few months ago. One thing I have learned about God’s healing miracles is that it isn’t always instantaneous. Even the apostle Paul, after recovering his sight, needed time to recover. (Acts 9:19 “and after taking some food, he regained his strength.”) Finding the truth in this verse helped me to believe in my own healing, for there was instantaneous relief from the severity of my pain, my migraines, and even my food allergies, but some of the other issues are taking a little longer to overcome. Some of these other issues have to do with regaining the strength I lost during so many years of illness.

The first quarter of the year also held some of the worst emotional pain I have ever experienced. My marriage was on the brink of disaster and my father passed away from cancer on the first day of Spring—a day that should herald hope and new beginnings. In a way, it did bring hope and a new beginning, because God was again faithful in His love, care, and compassion for this lowly sinner. After my father passed, my Savior finished the task of releasing me from my past. In a way, Jesus brought to a close what He started in me five years ago, when my mother passed away suddenly and when I became seriously ill (actually I fell seriously ill about six months before my mother passed on, but I was diagnosed the same week she died).

When God healed me of my past, my marriage was also instantaneously healed. Our marriage has never been better than it is right now, and I will be forever grateful to God for it.

God has also brought my daughter and I back together. I will not go into details at this time; just know that this too has been healed.

One thing we have yet to be healed of, however, is our finances. We are struggling horribly, barely making it month to month. Everything is so much more expensive down here in Southern California, than it is in Oregon. My husband’s past employer, whom his retirement is through, is playing games with what little they provide. They’ve added higher copays and deductibles to our health insurance, and they are taking more and more funds out of his pension (to pay their higher costs of providing the insurance, I suppose). Plus our motor coach broke down three times on our way south, which drained our savings account, and now we fear traveling too far because if we break down again, we won’t be able to fix her again. So my latest struggle on our journey, which God has us on, is overcoming the fear of being stranded in the middle of nowhere, with no money. Though I should not fear even this, because God has always been faithful to make sure I have been taken care of in my times of need. He has always provided some form of “Manna” to keep us alive, sheltered, and fed.

Sometimes I worry and I fear that I will not be able to carry out this mission He has placed on my heart. I fear this because of our lack of finances. How can I ever hope to help others, if we ourselves are barely above destitute? Though in this area, I do have hope, for my God is a faithful god. I know He will provide when the time is right. In the meantime, I continue to pray and believe.

My prayer for you today is that, even if your year has been painful, that you can see where God has given bits of joy for your endurance. I also pray that God will provide and care for you, as He has been faithful to love and care for me.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Stress Busters

Stress can make or break a person.

Stress can eat a hole right through your stomach. Stress can cause you to make poor decisions, to make mistakes. Stress can keep you from sleeping. Stress can make you prone to overeating.

Stress can also make us aware of trouble spots in our lives.

In moderation, stress can build our resiliency. Stress can teach us patience. Stress can drive us to achieve great things.

Stress can also be good for us. We experience good stress, or eustress, when we fall in love, go to an amusement park, or joyfully anticipate the birth of a child.

In eustress, our hearts pound. We feel a surge of pleasure and excitement rise in us. We can barely stifle our enthusiasm.

But when we are experiencing too much stress (even good stress when to excess), this chronic stress can have detrimental effects on our health and our ability to function. We miss deadlines at work. We find ourselves running late, and then we miss the bus, or we get into an accident on the way to work because we are thinking about our obligations instead of focusing on the road. Our blood pressure rises and stays elevated. We become less able to tolerate change. We become vulnerable to all sorts of illnesses. We carry our stress overload on our shoulders, as if it were a real physical burden, and the added tension brings on back pain and headaches. When I am under too much stress, the tightness in my shoulders even makes my hands go to sleep.

So, if we are under so much pressure and it is stealing our joy, how can we ever hope to get out from under it?

I have a simple list of suggestions, and although I say it is a simple list, until you can see your way clear, it can be anything but simple to accomplish. Even so, your health is worth every effort to get your stress back under control.

1. Learn to say, “no.” Or at least learn to say, “let me get back to you.”
2. Set healthy boundaries, for your time and even to include whom you allow into your personal space.
3. Acknowledge your innate value. You are not a doormat, to be used by everyone who enters your life.
4. Prioritize your obligations.
5. Delegate anything that needs done but is not worthy of being on your hectic schedule. (By this I mean that older kids can do dishes and fold laundry. Or even hire a housekeeper or gardener to come once a week.)
6. Laugh often. Watch comedies instead of dramas, as even violence and strife seen on the screen can raise our stress levels because we unknowingly internalize it. It’s human nature.
7. Take a walk, either alone or with a loved one.
8. Exercise, but know that exercise does not have to mean sit-ups. Gardening, if you enjoy it, can be excellent for the physical and mental being.
9. Memorize a key verse or make up your own mantra to get you through the stressful times. (My favorite is Philippians 4:13.)
10. Make a list of things you enjoy, and then prioritize some of them into your week. Hobbies can be great stress relievers.
11. Show yourself grace and mercy by not trying to be a superhero.
12. Write out what is so stressful for you because as you write, things will become clearer, and then hopefully, through your writings, you will find a solution. This can be only for your eyes, or if it helps, share it with someone you trust.

 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4: 6-7

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34

“‘Martha, Martha,’ The Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.’” Luke 10:41-42

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:16

My prayer for you today is that you may find at least a moment of laughter and joy in each and every day.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

Drama-Free Zone

I’ve been hearing people around me say that they are tired of all the drama, and I’m not just talking about teens. I’m talking about women (and even men) old enough to know better, than to continue the drama cycle.

I see them repeatedly inviting drama into their lives, with the decisions they make.

Everything is a choice. Everything in our lives stems from decisions we have made. However, unless we actually pay attention to what we are doing, we will not see that we have made poor choices.

It is my firm belief that, if we truly want a drama-free life, then we need to make the pledge to live in a truly drama-free zone.

How do we do this?

There’s biblical principals that can guide us in making the right decisions, but before I list key verses, I would like to give a list of do’s and don’ts.

1. First, stop the lying. When we lie, we have not only the truth to keep track of (which is easy to do) but also the lies. Lying gets us all twisted, and then we cannot remember who we told what to, and then all hell breaks loose when we make a mistake and say the wrong thing to someone we have been lying to, or when the truth gets back to them through someone else. We can  lose our most important relationships through lying. Plus, we teach people not to trust us, when we lie.
2. Stop gossip in its tracks. Sure, it can be enticing, listening to all the juicy bits of someone else’s life, and it can be even more enticing to pass what we hear along to others, but when we participate in gossip, we kill our relationships. It is one thing to pass along details we have permission (directly from the person) to pass along, but it is another thing entirely to say things behind their back. As an example, if a friend made it public that she is pregnant, and she is full of joy about the pregnancy and doesn’t care if the world knows, then it is okay to share in her joy and pass it along. It is entirely a separate matter if her pregnancy was unplanned or the result of an affair and she is fretting over all the changes it brings into her life, and she told you in confidence because she trusted you. Basically, before you open your mouth, think, “Does what I am about to say hurt or help the person and his/her situation?” If it hurts, keep your mouth shut. If you are unsure, keep your mouth shut. It is better to err on the side of caution.
3. Stop reading tabloids. Tabloids gossip about celebrities. When we read tabloids, including the supposedly higher class gossip magazines, then we contribute to perpetuating the cycle of gossip. Gossip hurts, even if it is about celebs. When we buy and read these magazines (or watch such shows) then we are telling society that it is okay to spread rumors and gossip.
4. Be true to yourself and others. When we act one way in front of this person and another way in front of that person, then we are two-faced. If what you are doing is not acceptable in front of everyone, then stop it. Any behavior can be changed if you really want change in your life.
5. Know who you can trust before opening up. If the person is a known gossiper or liar, then don’t share important things with them. Some people can take even the most innocent of comments and twist them until they become hurtful. With these people, it is usually best to not say anything beyond the weather forecast.
6. Become trustworthy. Make every effort to be the type of friend they need you to be, to be the type of person you would want as a friend. Adding to the drama isn’t worth the price of losing valuable relationships.
7. Avoid drama. It may not be polite to walk away from a conversation, but sometimes that’s what needs to be done. I’ve had to walk away from conversations, when my acquaintances did not get the message that I did not care to hear about so-and-so’s troubles. Sometimes walking away is the only thing that makes them understand you are serious about remaining gossip and drama free. Don’t make excuses or debate the issue; just walk away.
8. It is unfortunate, but sometimes relationships must be ended if you have tried everything to make them understand and the other person still does not accept your unwillingness to participate in the drama. Have confidence that there are better relationships out there waiting for you.
9. And finally, forgive. Forgive others their mistakes and how they have hurt you. Own up to your own mistakes by asking forgiveness of those you have wronged. Forgive yourself for those mistakes you have made. And ask God’s forgiveness. His forgiveness will bring wondrous blessings and peace to your life.
   

And now to the key verses. As I’ve said before, memorizing Bible verses can and will help improve your life. Write them out on Post-its or 3 x 5 cards and display them where you can read them throughout the day.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12

“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.” Proverbs 11:3

“Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” Proverbs 11:12-13

“Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.” Proverbs 26:20

“ The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others; who despises a vile person but honors those who fear The Lord; who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind; who lends money to the poor without interest; who does not accept a bribe against the innocent. Whoever does these things will never be shaken.” Psalm 15:2-5

“Cast your cares on The Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalm 55:22

“Then he adds: ‘Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.’” Hebrews 10:17

My prayer for you today is that you may find the peace that is only found in knowing Christ.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

 

Family Traditions

In this fast-paced world, where single parents are raising their children alone, or grandparents, out of necessity, take on the raising of their grandchildren, or where households are a mishmash of friends cohabitating out of financial necessity, is there anything left of the old holiday traditions?

With finances so tight that the special holiday meals and traditions cannot be carried out, what then are we passing along to our children? Or with families going every which way that they don’t even get together anymore, can we even expect Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter (and other holidays) to be sacred  anymore?

It pains me to see far more emphasis and effort put into the gatherings surrounding football games than our sacred holidays.

I dearly miss the gatherings we used to have when I was a child. We never had much, but there was always something special under the tree. In fact, one of my earliest memories is way back when I was probably three or four, and we were living with my mom’s parents. The house was very small, especially with seven people living together. We had our tree in the basement that year. I remember this so well, as clear as if it were yesterday. I got an Avon powder puff bunny and a Barbie that year. I was thrilled. It was my first Barbie.

I also have fond memories of the other Christmases during my childhood. One of our traditions was that we would spend Christmas Eve at Grandma and Grandpa’s, having a nice family dinner together. Grandma was always buzzing around, her apron strings almost flying behind her as she made her way around the table, making sure everyone was well fed. I rarely saw her sit and partake of the entire meal with us, until later years when age finally slowed her down.

Then we would go home, all rosy-cheeked and eager to go to bed so that we could play with our new toys Christmas morning.

One of Mom’s traditions was cinnamon rolls. I absolutely adored her cinnamon rolls. She’d make the dough the night before, at least a triple batch, and then she would put the Tupperware fix-n-mix bowl in the refrigerator to rise overnight. The next morning, that huge bowl would be overflowing with rich, sweet dough, and Mom was usually up at six to finish making the cinnamon rolls, so that we could enjoy them for breakfast.

Once again, I found myself really missing my mom the other day. She passed away five years ago. Wow. It is difficult to believe it has been that long already.

So I decided to whip up a batch of rich, sweet dough last night, and I got up this morning at six to finish them. It’s difficult, baking in a tiny RV oven, but I managed to make a single batch, and soon the entire coach was filled to overflowing with the wonderfully sweet smell of Christmas.

My prayer for you today is for fond memories to surface and for traditions to be reborn, if they have died away.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy

 

RICH SWEET DOUGH FOR CINNAMON ROLLS

• 2 pkg. yeast
• 1/4 cup warm water
• 1 cup warm milk
• 1 cup softened butter
• 2 eggs, beaten 
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. grated lemon rind
• 4 1/2 cups flour

Dissolve the yeast in the warm water. Combine with the rest of the ingredients, beating the flour in cup by cup until smooth. The dough will be soft. Cover and place in the refrigerator to chill at least two hours or overnight. divide in half, roll out, fill with softened butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, raisins, and nuts (optional). Roll up tightly. Slice one inch thick and place in a buttered pan. Let rise over a pan of warm water. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 to 25 minutes.

Glaze immediately with your favorite vanilla frosting (thinned slightly). My favorite  frosting recipe follows:

CREAM CHEESE FROSTING

• 1/2 cup cream cheese
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• 3-4 cups powdered sugar
• enough milk or water to thin to desired consistency

 

Personal Best: Part Four: Well Grounded

This is the final in the series on raising the bar. As I mentioned in the first post, I believe that if we can achieve one, then the other three will follow. This is the one that I believe is the key. Being properly grounded makes everything else easier in life.

But what do I mean by being grounded? Many people talk about having their head in the clouds, or being flighty. These are the opposite of being grounded.

To be grounded means that we have a solid foundation to stand on. It means that we are focused and present in the now (not ten minutes from now and not two weeks from now). Our minds are not racing ahead to fantastical what-ifs. We are calm.

When we are not grounded, everything can become unraveled easily because we tend to be overly emotional. We get upset or angry for unworthy reasons. We get frustrated when things don’t go as we expect, often because our expectations are not based in reality.

So, how can we get grounded? For a quick situational fix, the easiest thing to do is breathe. Concentrate on your breath and let it bring you back to the present. This is not only for the negative events in our lives, but also for those events that are too stimulating to take in all at once. If you find you are getting too excited (about anything, get your mind out of the gutter, although that’s a good reason, as well) and you subsequently find your mind racing, then breathe. Deep breaths. In and out. Until the excitement is under control.

When emotions are allowed to run rampant (as in our over-excitement), we make decisions that we later regret. We react instead of act. What I mean by this is that actions are premeditated. We have spent time in making the decision to do the action. Whereas, reactions are spontaneous. We don’t think. We let the circumstances or the emotions or someone else make decisions for us. And this is not good.

So breathe.

And then when you are calmer, while you are still breathing, think.

Where can we find a solid foundation to stand on? We can find this by exerting wiser choices in who we choose to be in relationship with. This is a good starting point, but the most important relationship, the only one that can truly be our rock to stand on, is Jesus.

When we give ourselves over to Jesus, and we follow His teachings, then we have our solid foundation. If all our decisions are based on biblical truths, then we can be sure we are making good, wholesome, honorable decisions in our lives.

I hear you when you say that The Bible was written several millennia ago. You think its outdated. I understand your concerns. However, when we are in relationship with Jesus, and we have the Holy Spirit whispering truths in our ears, we begin to understand. We begin to see how The Bible is still relevant today. Trust me. Or better yet, trust God’s Word. If you earnestly endeavor to find life’s answers in The Bible, a whole new world will be opened up to you. It is as simple as saying a prayer and opening the book. If you are not sure where to start, the Psalms is always a good choice, and it can be found right in the middle of The Bible. The Book of John is another great choice. Galatians is my personal favorite. It teaches me that grace is based on faith and not on our silly human strivings. Through faith, I am a new creation. I don’t have to jump through any hoops or prove anything to anybody. God knows my heart, and so He reads my heart directly. Without striving constantly to prove my worthiness, an unspeakable joy fills me as I go about my daily chores. Since I don’t have to prove myself anymore, I eagerly work for His Kingdom, to share this wondrous joy with others and give them hope for their own joy, found only in the unconditional love of Our Savior.

So that is my prayer for you today, that you might be open to receiving the Joy of Christ.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy