Drama-Free Zone

I’ve been hearing people around me say that they are tired of all the drama, and I’m not just talking about teens. I’m talking about women (and even men) old enough to know better, than to continue the drama cycle.

I see them repeatedly inviting drama into their lives, with the decisions they make.

Everything is a choice. Everything in our lives stems from decisions we have made. However, unless we actually pay attention to what we are doing, we will not see that we have made poor choices.

It is my firm belief that, if we truly want a drama-free life, then we need to make the pledge to live in a truly drama-free zone.

How do we do this?

There’s biblical principals that can guide us in making the right decisions, but before I list key verses, I would like to give a list of do’s and don’ts.

1. First, stop the lying. When we lie, we have not only the truth to keep track of (which is easy to do) but also the lies. Lying gets us all twisted, and then we cannot remember who we told what to, and then all hell breaks loose when we make a mistake and say the wrong thing to someone we have been lying to, or when the truth gets back to them through someone else. We can  lose our most important relationships through lying. Plus, we teach people not to trust us, when we lie.
2. Stop gossip in its tracks. Sure, it can be enticing, listening to all the juicy bits of someone else’s life, and it can be even more enticing to pass what we hear along to others, but when we participate in gossip, we kill our relationships. It is one thing to pass along details we have permission (directly from the person) to pass along, but it is another thing entirely to say things behind their back. As an example, if a friend made it public that she is pregnant, and she is full of joy about the pregnancy and doesn’t care if the world knows, then it is okay to share in her joy and pass it along. It is entirely a separate matter if her pregnancy was unplanned or the result of an affair and she is fretting over all the changes it brings into her life, and she told you in confidence because she trusted you. Basically, before you open your mouth, think, “Does what I am about to say hurt or help the person and his/her situation?” If it hurts, keep your mouth shut. If you are unsure, keep your mouth shut. It is better to err on the side of caution.
3. Stop reading tabloids. Tabloids gossip about celebrities. When we read tabloids, including the supposedly higher class gossip magazines, then we contribute to perpetuating the cycle of gossip. Gossip hurts, even if it is about celebs. When we buy and read these magazines (or watch such shows) then we are telling society that it is okay to spread rumors and gossip.
4. Be true to yourself and others. When we act one way in front of this person and another way in front of that person, then we are two-faced. If what you are doing is not acceptable in front of everyone, then stop it. Any behavior can be changed if you really want change in your life.
5. Know who you can trust before opening up. If the person is a known gossiper or liar, then don’t share important things with them. Some people can take even the most innocent of comments and twist them until they become hurtful. With these people, it is usually best to not say anything beyond the weather forecast.
6. Become trustworthy. Make every effort to be the type of friend they need you to be, to be the type of person you would want as a friend. Adding to the drama isn’t worth the price of losing valuable relationships.
7. Avoid drama. It may not be polite to walk away from a conversation, but sometimes that’s what needs to be done. I’ve had to walk away from conversations, when my acquaintances did not get the message that I did not care to hear about so-and-so’s troubles. Sometimes walking away is the only thing that makes them understand you are serious about remaining gossip and drama free. Don’t make excuses or debate the issue; just walk away.
8. It is unfortunate, but sometimes relationships must be ended if you have tried everything to make them understand and the other person still does not accept your unwillingness to participate in the drama. Have confidence that there are better relationships out there waiting for you.
9. And finally, forgive. Forgive others their mistakes and how they have hurt you. Own up to your own mistakes by asking forgiveness of those you have wronged. Forgive yourself for those mistakes you have made. And ask God’s forgiveness. His forgiveness will bring wondrous blessings and peace to your life.
   

And now to the key verses. As I’ve said before, memorizing Bible verses can and will help improve your life. Write them out on Post-its or 3 x 5 cards and display them where you can read them throughout the day.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12

“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.” Proverbs 11:3

“Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” Proverbs 11:12-13

“Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.” Proverbs 26:20

“ The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others; who despises a vile person but honors those who fear The Lord; who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind; who lends money to the poor without interest; who does not accept a bribe against the innocent. Whoever does these things will never be shaken.” Psalm 15:2-5

“Cast your cares on The Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalm 55:22

“Then he adds: ‘Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.’” Hebrews 10:17

My prayer for you today is that you may find the peace that is only found in knowing Christ.

In His Grace,

Jennifer Joy